Page 5 of Till Death Us Do Part
The Earl thought deeply for a while.
“Do this! See if you can manage some sort of irregularities in the marriage settlement—something you could use later to annul the whole thing with claims of fraud if you must. When you come back, you can try that route, or just put her in a country house, keep her busy with babies, and otherwise ignore her. Think she can produce children that are at least instructible?”
“I suppose so. Her mother, silly as she is, still has her looks with five children over fifteen, as long as you do not have to listen to her. She should be able to at least do that.”
“Considering what an idiot my eldest son is, that does not sound like such a bad thing. We could use some new blood.If you cannot stand her, you need only visit her as often as necessary. Prime the pump occasionally so to speak.”
“I always wanted to marry for love, silly as that notion sounds for people in our position,” Darcy sighed. “I somehow thought it possible I could find someone that was more impressed with me than with my purse and my estate.”
“My boy, I suppose such things are possible, but they are far more the exception than the rule in our circles. Your father lucked out, since nothing short of affection would make the well-dowered daughter of an Earl choose a gentleman over readily available peers. Catherine was never going to marry well, but Anne could have had the pick of the litter.”
Both men nodded in grim understanding, then tucked their chins into their hands to contemplate the dismalness of their situation.
Finally, the Earl broke the silence with a suggestion. “Here is the least bad course of action I can think of. Leave Wickham to me. A man like that always has debts with people that do not like them. I will have my men find some and ensure they meet. That should get rid of him without dirtying our hands, and Georgiana will not suffer overly much, so long as you can keep the companion quiet.”
“I suppose he will likely end up dead?”
“He will reap what he has been sowing since he was a boy. Never knew what your father saw in the little weasel. Your conscience will be clear, as will mine. He dug his own hole, and it is not our fault if it serves as a grave.”
Darcy nodded in resignation. “If it is a choice between him and Georgiana, he will lose every time. Richard wanted to call him out in Ramsgate. I should have let him.”
“Leave it to me. That just leaves this other matter. An annulment will be messy and expensive, but we can introduce some type of fraud as justification. Keep her settlement stingy toensure she stays out of trouble. You will not be able to guide her, so I suppose you must park her in Pemberley until you return and clean up the mess. Write the marriage articles carefully to make sure she does not overstretch your resources. She should not be allowed to go on a redecorating binge or degrade your reputation in the neighbourhood. You know how women love to redecorate their homes and their bodies. Keep a lid on it. Lean on theobeypart of the vows.”
Both men took another brandy and continued their deep (though mostly pointless) cogitation, until a servant found sound asleep and thoroughly tap-hackled when he came in to lay the fire just before dawn.
2.If I Had a Hammer
Tue, Dec 3, 1811—Longbourn, Hertfordshire
“I WILL NOT MARRY THAT MAN!”
The statement, shouted loud enough to be heard throughout the house, caused Elizabeth Bennet’s two youngest sisters to giggle, her eldest sister to frown ferociously, her middle sister to open her mouth for some platitudes, and her mother to screech like a banshee.
Equally determined, Mrs Bennet stridently screamed back, “You will marry him, you ungrateful child!He has ten thousand a year and likely more. You will save your entire family. It is your duty, andyou will do itif I need to drag you to the alter bound and gagged. Have a little compassion on my nerves. You tear them to pieces. Make no mistake, missy…you will marry him.The die is cast.”
Elizabeth spoke in a low and menacing voice with a hard stare. “I will not!”
“You will!What do you think, Lizzy, that you get to pick and choose? Do you think we can keep you forever? You are lucky I am looking out for you, as you are quite the spinster in the making, and likely to end up starving in the hedgerows with Charlotte Lucas.”
Elizabeth marched up to the offending matron, stood toe to toe and stared eye to eye.
“If I am doomed, which I strongly dispute,it is your fault. How many suitors have been warned off by a loud and vulgar mother? How many local boys can afford to support five extra mouths? John Lucas is the best prospect in this village, and he can barely support Charlotte, let alone another gaggle of undowered daughters.
“Youare the one that has prevented Jane and I from attaching tradesmen in town.Youare the one that spends every farthing on fripperies and your own comforts instead of things that might attract a husband.Youare the one that disparages three-fifths of your daughters’ appearances to everyone who will listen, and many who will not.Youare the one that thinks Jane must catch arichhusband, instead of agoodone.Youare the one that has two of your daughters out when they should be in the schoolroom or chained up in the yard.
“Your husbandis the one that did not take you in hand to teach you some sense.Your husbandhas refused to control your offspring and your spending.The pair of youare the ones that did not save a penny for your daughter’s education or advancement.
“Now you expect me to pay for your laziness for the rest of mylife.No, I repeat.I. will. not. do. it! Even if that cretindoesreturn from town to ask for my hand, which after a week, seems increasingly unlikely.”
By that point, Elizabeth was practically spitting at her mother, while Mrs Bennet looked like she was winding herself up for a scorching reply.
Elizabeth stepped back and threw her last barb. “Face it, Mother! You played a poor hand very badly, and our current pitiable state is entirely your own doing.”
“You will CEASE this incessant caterwauling at once!”
The entire house went silent in shock, as Mr Bennet had not yelled with such force even once in living memory.
As everyone paused, the patriarch continued, “Elizabeth, you will attend me in my library. Your mother is right for once. You will marry him. If he does not come voluntarily, I will drag him back. The rest of you shall remain silent, or better yet, absent!”
