Page 21 of Behind the Cascades
She wants me to take her motorhome. Across the country.
It’s a smaller Class C but it has all the bells and whistles. I don’t know exactly how much it is worth, but I guarantee it’s worth more than the average starter home in South Carolina. She uses it nearly every weekend during the summer, when she and her friends go camping. Now, she’s offering it up like it’s a t-shirt to borrow.
“Are you serious?”
She nods and grins. “I trust you’ll take good care of it. You’ve always been brave, sweet girl. I don’t want what this man did or Hayes leaving to stomp out any of that fearlessness. I’ve always wanted the two of you to be together. However, I don’t like the way he handled the situation that night. I love that boy, but he should’ve treated you with more respect. I know how long you two have been pining for each other but maybe it’s time you found yourself beyond Hayes. Take some time to figure out who Charlie is. Whatshereally wants.”
Her words hit me hard, but she’s right. I’ve been caught up in being Hayes' girlfriend, giving every ounce of free time to him and our future. Even before we were together, he was part of all of my decisions. Don’t get me wrong; I loved that. I’d stillchoose that time and time again. But now I need to pivot. I need to focus on myself, what I want, and where I want to be. Follow in Odessa’s footsteps a little more and pave my own way. Maybe Hayes and I will work it out, or maybe we won’t. Either way, I shouldn’t waste anymore time dwelling on what could have been.
Chapter Fourteen
Charlie
Thursday, June 1.
Leaving Connie’s house was bittersweet to say the least. I was beyond sad to leave Connie, but still a little excited to have a plan and get away from South Carolina. We celebrated my next chapter with a bottle of wine and a movie night. Nothing too crazy, considering I planned on leaving first thing this morning.
The motorhome was ready, Connie had gone over everything twice, and I had a cheat sheet written down with instructions. I tried to assure her that I could Google whatever I needed to, but Connie insisted that I have it on paper. I saw the worry on her face only growing stronger the closer it got to me leaving, but she never tried to convince me to stay.
I pulled out of the driveway right at dawn, with a passenger seat full of snacks that Connie had packed next to my purse that now holds Hayes’ mint tin. My neighbor must have found it while we were packing up my apartment and placed it in there without me knowing. I tried to convince Connie to keepit or send it to Hayes but she refused. She said I needed the “good-luck” on my new adventure and she wouldn’t be able to get his address anyway.
The second I hit the interstate, time started to blend together. I thought that I would take my time sight-seeing, but I couldn’t bring myself to stop. My excitement quickly dwindled as the fear of being alone overtook me.
The only time I felt safe was when I was driving. I made sure to find the nicest RV parks and then time it so that I would pull in an hour before sunset. I’d eat, try to sleep, and wake up before the sun even began to rise again. Once those first rays began lighting up the sky, I was on the road. Stopping only for gas and food, I set my eyes on the Pacific. Needing to get as far away as possible, as quickly as possible. After that, I’ll reassess.
I just drove and drove.
Drove until I was across the country.
It wasn't until I hit the Idaho/Oregon border that it felt like I could breathe again.
The landscape quickly became some of the most beautiful I'd seen on the entire trip. Or maybe I was just slowing down enough to pay attention. Tall cliffs and a lush green landscape surrounded the winding river as I drove alongside it. Wildflowers were just starting to bloom, adding bursts of color in every direction.
Then I drove through wide, open hay fields where it felt like you could see for miles. It was as if I were driving through an old western film. My dad would have loved it. Drew and I watched more John Wayne movies than anything else with him. I could feel the nostalgia starting to unravel the knot of anxiety I had developed.
I didn’t stop to admire the large town I saw next; didn’t even look at the name. My eyes were only set on the mountains I saw in the distance. It felt like they were calling to me. Everymile that I got closer to them, my body relaxed. When I hit the edge of a small town, Three Sisters, OR, every part of me begged to get out and walk down the bustling of Main Street. To explore as if I was one of the other carefree tourists. A quick Google search sent me in the direction of a quaint RV park. The reviews looked phenomenal, but the pictures hadn’t done its justice. Nestled between the pine trees and Cascade mountains, sat my own little hideout.
The check-in area of the RV park is a cabin that has a front desk, a sitting area, and a small coffee station. It’s nothing fancy, but the cowboy chic decor is fitting and welcoming. The woman behind the counter has big, teased blonde ’80’s hair and a huge grin.
“Hello! Welcome to the Cascadia RV Park and lodging. You checkin’ in?” Her accent doesn’t sound Southern, but there is a distinct twang to it.
“I am, but I don’t have a reservation.” I try to smile, but my face feels stiff from the last few days of clenching my teeth.
She grins back, like she’s unfazed by my lack of expression. “No worries, doll face. How many nights are you staying?”
“Just one for now.” I’m not sure how long I’ll feel comfortable here. For all I know, this could be a fluke and I’ll be having a panic attack in the next ten minutes.
“Okay, if you want to add more, just let me or Roger know.”
My head snaps up. “Roger?”
“My husband. He's always around here somewhere.”
I nod and a small smile forms at the corner of my lips. I love that there’s another Roger around here somewhere.
I glance at her name tag to thank her and my breath feels like it was stolen right from my chest. Her name is Jessie, the same as my dad’s, only spelled slightly differently.
I don’t normally believe in signs but I can’t deny there’s something in the universe telling me this is the place to be.
