Page 39 of Behind the Cascades
I can feel the weight of unspoken words hanging in the air. I lift an eyebrow, waiting for him to answer my question.
"I’m here to apologize.”Knife meets heart.I don’t know what I expected him to say, but leading with that feels cold and distant.
“Okay.” I try to avoid the disappointment I’m feeling by looking out at the restaurant. “How’d you even find me?”
“I had some help. Do you remember Lincoln?" I nod my head in response. "He was sent home early from Iraq. RPG attack. Some shrapnel struck him in the thigh. It ended his career."
"Oh no! But he’s okay?”
The corner of his mouth pulls up a bit, and he's bobbing his head with nervousness. "Yeah, full recovery. So, he's, uh, well, he’s remarkably techy and was able to help me track you down."
My shoulders slump with defeat. I've been so careful to go completely undetected. I haven't talked to anyone from home except for Connie and Odessa, and only ever through the scrambling app. Not necessarily to keep Hayes away, but definitely Carter. Seeing him look at me the way he did in the courtroom only confirmed that he wasn’t going to let me go easily.
"Where did I mess up?" I ask, my voice filled with disappointment.
Hayes looks at me sympathetically and replies, "It wasn't anything you did wrong. Lincoln just has a gift for finding people, especially those who don't want to be found. The flight you took to Portland. He got the license plate number off the car that picked you up."
I let out a resigned sigh. I'd be a lot more frustrated if it were anyone but Hayes here. The second I saw him, every single feeling I had shoved down came rushing back.
“So, Iraq? That’s where you were?” I still hadn’t asked Connie, too afraid to even know.
I don’t miss the hint of sadness that clouds him when he asks, “You didn’t know?”
“I didn’t want to. It was all too hard.”
He nods, the hurt evident. “Yeah, we spent alongeighteen months there.”
"Right. Wait, I have something for you.” I reach into my purse and pull out his mint tin, sliding it across the table. “I am so sorry that you didn’t have that with you. Carter… He had it. By the time I found it, you were already gone and your mom said she wouldn’t be able to send it to you. She thought I could use some of its ‘good-luck’ juju.”
His hand reaches out and our fingers brush while he pulls it back to him. He stares at it like he can’t believe it’s really in front of him. He swallows hard once before looking at me with misty eyes. “Did you open it?”
I shake my head. “No, to be honest, I could barely look at it.”
He pockets it and then looks back toward me. When he doesn’t say anything else, I try to fill the silence. “So, how long are you here for? Are you still on leave or is this a long weekend?”
His index finger rubs against his bottom lip before he mumbles. "I got out."
My heart skips a beat at his words. A mix of emotions washes over me—relief, sadness, but mostly guilt that he's given up the thing he loves the most to come find me.
"Hayes… You didn't have to do that for me."
He shakes his head and swallows hard. "My contract was up. I couldn't willingly sign on for more."Okay, maybe he’s not doing it for me?I feel like I can’t get a read on him anymore.
"What about Drew?" I can't even begin to imagine how upset Drew is with me. Running away and hiding. We were raised to be fighters, and the first sign of trouble has me moving across the country and concealing myself from the entire world.
"He's still in. He had already signed another contract while we were deployed. I was dragging my feet, and I hadn't even known why at the time."
My brows draw together as I stare at my plate of food that I haven't touched since he got here.
"Anyway, he was moved to a different team and is going back out again soon."Another deployment. Color me surprised.There is an endless cycle of training and deployments for these guys. The only constant for them is that they are always on the move.
I bite the edge of my nail, trying to process the information.
"So, you left the Navy, and now you're here, looking for me? To apologize?" I asked, my voice tinged with disbelief.
He nods solemnly, his eyes never leaving mine. "Yeah. You thought once I knew the whole story, I wouldn't be here..? On my hands and knees, begging for you to forgive me? For you to give me another chance?”
Thank the good lord.Tears well in my eyes. “You couldn’t have led with that?” Grabbing my napkin, I dab at my eyes while trying to blink away the tears.
