Page 72 of Every Single Wildflower
“Ain’t that the truth,” he mutters before he motions for me to move. “You get dressed. I’ll leave her out some Tylenol and water. If I don’t, she’ll forget.”
I watch him step over her last night's clothes and I wonder when the day will come that Dakota will see what’s right in front of her.
Chapter fifty-three
Maddox
The sunlight shines through the trees as I make my way across the Mayson Ridge cemetery. Dad’s headstone is the last one on the eighth row. A large arched slab that reads his name, and below, his favorite bible verse is engraved in cursive font. My chest tightens the closer I get, the feeling of disappointment wracking my bones. What would dad think of what happened? Of my actions? Of Brady’s?
Stopping in front of the stone covered with flowers I know my mother puts out every few weeks, I crouch down.
“Hey dad.” I lower my head. “I fucked up pretty good.”
Silence greets me, like all of our conversations and it stings.
“I tried so hard to stand in your place. To lead our family like you would have wanted me to.” I feel my throat swell. “But I’m not you, dad. Mom is lonely. Laiken is worn out. She’s trying so hard to be both parents. I did what I thought was the best way to help her. All she ever wanted was to go to school.” I pick at a clump of loose dirt, letting it disintegrate between my fingers. “She thinks she got a scholarship for school.” I clear my throat. “I knew she’d never allow me to pay for her classes, so I made up a scholarship and put a large chunk of my rodeo earnings in there to put her through college. Trace was just a baby, and she was struggling. I wanted her to beat the odds. For her to still achieve her dreams even as a single mother.”
I small breeze blows through the aisle, and I reach up to touch his name.
Morris Sheppard.
“You were her biggest cheerleader. You’d be proud of her.” I let my fingers drop. “And Brady. You two were so much alike. Wearing your heart on your sleeve.” I shake my head. “He blames me. He believes I’m responsible for what happened.” Letting my eyes fall closed, I speak the words that have held me captive for years. “And I let him. Because I love him too much to let him be hurt by the truth. To let him know that you made mistakes, just like everyone else.”
I can feel the wet stains trailing down my cheeks. “It doesn’t matter that you were the one driving that night. I should have stopped you. I should have made you give me those keys. I knew you had been drinking.” Fuck, my chest burns. “I didn’t want one mistake to define you. I didn’t want Brady, and Laiken, and mom to think you were anything other than the man you always were to us. A good father. A good husband. Loyal.”
My thighs burn as I push to stand. “You once told me to always put your family first. And right now, I am. Brady is my brother. I love him. But Ivy is my family too. I love her so much, dad. Andit’s fucking killing me that there isn’t a world where I can have both.”
Bending down I right one of the horse figurines that fell over. “I miss you. I wish you were here to tell me what to do. To tell me how to fix this.”
When more silence engulfs me, I take one last look at the headstone and turn to leave. When my eyes raise, a few feet behind me stands my brother. I walk toward him, neither of us speaking as I pass him, heading to my truck that's parked just beyond the fence.
When I make it back to the ranch, Laiken’s SUV is waiting by my office. Climbing out of my truck, I slip on my hat before she meets me around the hood.
“Hey.” She reaches up and touches my chin. “He clocked you good, huh?”
I scoff out a version of a laugh as I rest against the grill of my truck.
“I saw him at the cemetery this morning.”
She nods. “Yeah, I figured.”
“None of this is Ivy’s fault,” I say, my immediate reaction jumping to defend her.
Laiken smiles softly. “It’s no one’s fault, Maddox. You love who you love. Sometimes we don’t get to choose.”
“You saying that about Rhodes?” I lift a brow.
She snorts. “God, no. I never loved him.”
It makes me wonder if she’s ever loved anyone. The look in her eyes says she understands, but she’s always been private.
“I came to tell you that Brady may be upset, but he’ll get over it. He’s a big boy. We can’t always shield him from everything.”
“I know that.” I sigh. “We just wanted to do it the right way. Sit him down and tell him. Tell you and mom. Ivy is afraid y’all will resent her if it drives a wedge between us.”
“I would never resent her. As far as Brady, don’t let it drive a wedge. Talk to him. Tell him how you feel. Honesty might actually be what he needs, Maddox. Not protection.”
She raises up and presses a kiss to my cheek. Her hot pink scrubs are like a beacon of light out in this colorless dirt. “I just wanted to check on you. I’ve gotta get back to work. I’ve got Mr. Norman today and he’s ready to get back to his regular poker nights and out of his wheelchair.”
