Page 28 of What You Do To Me
“Nothing baby, I wasn't saying anything.”
He let out a low chuckle and said,“Nothing? I been watching y’all for a lil’ second and it looked like a whole lot more than nothing to me.”
I knew I had no business talking to this nigga. From the moment I saw him in Charlie’s I knew he would be trouble. By the time Jawan had turned around to address Terrance, he was gone. He had disappeared into the crowd of shoppers and I can't say I wasn't relieved. Turning his attention back to me he snatched the bags outta my hand, grabbed my hand with the other, and basically drug me out of the mall. When we were almost at the car I started to complain.
“Jawan can you slow the fuck down please? You’ve damn near cut the circulation in my hand off because you're squeezing it so tight, and in case you’ve forgotten you're dragging your pregnant wife across the parking lot!”
Everything I said went in one ear and out the other though, because he kept his grip and stride all the way to the car.
“Dirk run Granny to her house, then just meet me back at mine, I need to get her and my lil’ girl home and settled,” Jawan said to one of my guards. Granny shook her head in my direction and mouthed ‘I told you’ to me, and all I could do is drop my head. Jawan helped me into the car, then climbed in himself. I looked in the backseat and saw a sleeping Jarae.
“How long have you had her?”
I tried to make small talk. Knowing him, she probably wasn’t at Ma Cheryl’s any longer than an hour before he went to get her.
“Yo’ Tiomi, don’t say shit to me right now man. Because you probably won’t like anything I have to say to you. Just let me get y’all home so I can be out.”
Him raising his voice at me hurt my feelings, and now I was crying. I knew I was wrong for talking to him, but it was completely innocent.
“You don’t have to yell at me Jawan, I was just asking a question.” Again, he had nothing to say. “And what do you mean be out? Where are you going?”
I asked, he can have an attitude all he wants but I’m still his wife and I reserve the right to know where he is going.
“Out. Look man leave me the fuck alone, for real. You do stupid ass shit. Let that would have been me all googly eyed with a bitch, you woulda cut the fuck up,” he fussed. “I think you like for me to kill muhfuckas in front of you. You like to have muhfuckas blood on your hands, huh?”
I shifted uncomfortably. Again, I knew I was wrong. I would have shown my whole ass if he would have been in another bitch’s face. When he realized that I wasn't going to answer, he sarcastically laughed.
“Now you don’t got shit to say. So what? I can’t trust you not to be in a nigga face when I ain’t around Tiomi?”
“Of course, you can Jawan,” I answered offended.
“Shid, I can't tell. If you don’t wanna be married to a nigga let me know now while we have time to get this shit annulled.”
He said to me as if it’s that easy to him. The regret was immediately evident on his face, but I had no words for him. I just let the tears fall freely. We sat in an uncomfortable silence the remainder of the ride home.
“Tiomi I ain’t mean it like that. Seeing you with another man just did something to me. You my bitch, you ain’t supposed to have no words for another muhfucka.”
Truth was I didn’t. I didn’t have words for another man and I damn sure didn’t have any for my so-called husband. I snatched my door open and jumped out the car as soon as it came to a stop. Since he was being an ass, he can grab Rae and the bags, fuck him.
I went straight to the room to take a quick shower. I knew my baby would be up soon, and I still had to cook. As I stood under the water I thought about the events from today. This isn’t how I want to start things out with our marriage, so I’m going to try and reconcile with my man when I’m done.
After spending some time freshening up, I headed to take care of my baby girl. When I got to her room Jawan was dressing her with his phone tucked between his shoulder and ear. When he noticed me in the room, he told whoever it was that he would see them soon.
“Who are you going to see soon Jawan?” was the first thing out of my mouth when he disconnected his call. Just like before he ignored me and gave his attention to our daughter.
“Aight shorty, daddy will see you later, hold it down for me, aight?” he said to her with his fist out waiting for her to return the gesture, which she did then he scooped her into his arm and planted kisses all over her face. When they were done, he let her down and she ran right over to me. I scooped her small body into my arms and kissed her face too.
Jawan looked on for a second then dropped a kiss on my cheek, “I’mma order y’all some food so you don't have to cook, don't wait up,” is all he said before he was out the door. As soon as I heard it close, the tears started to fall. He didn't even say he loved me.
Husbae: Stop fuckin’ crying Tiomi. I love your spoiled ass man.
Me: I love you more baby, and I’m sorry.
Husbae: Don't be sorry, be careful. Food will be there soon, and Dirk is outside.
I smiled, feeling a little better knowing that he knew me. I contemplated asking him when he was coming home, but I didn’t wanna get my feelings hurt again. Me and Rae headed downstairs to get comfortable on the couch ‘til the food got here.
Jawan knows I hate being here alone and since he’s gone, I wasn't opening the door at all. Dirk being here made me comfortable and I knew he would bring the food in.
