Page 74 of To Professor, with Love
Noel rolled me from my side onto my back so he could kiss my belly button next, but a lump under my spine had me wiggling until I reached back and pulled up the blue bunny he’d won at the carnival.
Arching an eyebrow, he picked it up and sent me a smug grin.“I knew you’d keep this thing.”Then he used the soft cloth of the bunny’s ear to caress me from my navel and up between my breasts.
I sighed and stretched languidly under him.
He hummed in contentment.“I’m suddenly very, very glad you wear those frumpy clothes you do to school.I think I’d flip my shit if any other guy on campus had a clue what you looked like under them.”
I glanced at him, lifting my eyebrows.“What, you don’t like my power suits?”
He gave a quick laugh.“Power suits?Is that what you call them?”
I shrugged.What else should I call them?I wore them to gain the position I wanted on that campus.
“I know that’s not what you usually wear,” Noel went on.“At the bar in that sexy, black backless thing and to the carnival in those adorable jean shorts.I have a feeling you only wear yourpower suitsto the university.”
I smiled with pride and kissed his cheek.“And you would be right.”
“Hell, I know I’m right.But why?Why do you do it?You know how...unflattering they look, right?”
With a roll of my eyes, I laughed.“Yes.That’s the point.I would rather be overlooked and misjudged with low expectations than to come in my first semester with a bunch of flash to intimidate people and make them think I want to roll right over them.Besides, I want them to know I care about my job, not fashion.”
“You have funny reasoning, Professor, but I’m still glad you don’t let everyone else see these curves.”He flung the bunny over his shoulder so he could use his fingers to stroke a knot on my hip.Pausing at it, he furrowed his brow.“What’s this?”
Ice formed in my veins.As he leaned down to examine the old knife scar and then kiss it, I jerked away.“Don’t.”The panic in my voice had him looking up and studying me, reading every uncomfortable, memory-laden expression on my face.
“Aspen,” he said softly, his sharp eyes seeing more than I wanted him to.“Was that a trigger?”
“Tr...?”I blinked.Why would he use that word?My therapist had always used that word.Shaking my head, I tried to laugh off the concern in his gaze.“I don’t know what you mean?”
“I mean...”He drew in a deep breath and then exhaled.Setting his fingers against the scar, he asked, “Did you get this from your rape?”
I blacked out.Seriously, for a split second, I saw nothing but absolute black.But I remained completely, horrifyingly conscious.
“Aspen?”Warm fingers cupped my shoulders.Blinking the black away, I watched a fuzzy image of Noel’s concerned face slowly fill my view.“Do you remember telling me about that?”he asked.
“No,” I whispered in horror.“I didn’t...”Oh, God, I hadn’t, had I?Why would I tell him aboutthat?Opening my mouth to speak, I shook my head, completely aghast.“W...why would I tell you about that?”
“You were drunk.We talked about a lot that night.”
“But...”I pressed my hand to my chest.That wasn’t something I ever wanted him to know...wantedanyoneto know.“What exactly did I tell you?”
“Not much.You were fourteen.He was a football player.Your parents refused to do anything about it.”
I brushed my hair out of my face, surprised how cold my fingers were.“But...”
“I’m glad I know.”He took my hand and kissed my knuckles.“I’m glad I understand why you were so judgmental of me at first.And I’m relieved to see just how strong you are.You survived this and overcame it.I don’t...shit.I don’t know how much you think about it when we’re together, but the fact that you can still find pleasure with me is...”He shook his head.Eyes gleaming with emotion, he smiled.“You just impress the hell out of me, that’s all.”
I curled into him and ducked my face into the hollow between his neck and shoulder.“I don’t think about it,him, not when we’re together, except maybe to marvel over how good it can actually be compared to...”I shivered, remembering just how bad it could get.
“I’m glad.”Noel kissed my cheek.“But if I ever do hit a trigger, or doanythingthat reminds you...you’ll tell me, right?”
I nodded, and strangely enough I wasn’t lying.How we’d moved so effortlessly from teacher and student who completely despised each other to personal confidants, I have no idea.But I’d be forever grateful for it.Not only had I just gained a lover, but it also felt as if I’d made a friend.So, I confided in my friend.
“It was my senior year.”Resting my cheek on his heartbeat, I ran my fingers idly up his chest, marveling over how hard and smooth he was.“I was a couple months shy of fifteen.Zach was a senior too.”
“Zach.”Noel snarled the word as if he wanted to commit the name of his next victim to memory.
I smiled softly and nodded, loving the protective sound in his voice.“He was eighteen, like most normal high school seniors, and was the ‘it’ boy.Back then, I wasn’t very good at concealing my emotions.Everyone knew I had a raging crush on him.The first time he smiled at me and saidhi, I think I literally sighed aloud.When he asked me on a date, I was just...over the moon.”
