Page 70 of To Professor, with Love
I nodded, confused.He’d just asked me that.“Of...of course.Why?What’s wrong?”
I’d been floating, absolutely high off life.Nothing could top the sensations alive and abounding inside me.Noel had been right; wewerea force of nature together.Because that had been...that had be better than every amazing word in the entire dictionary.I couldn’t even describe—
But he still looked scared out of his mind.It made no sense.How could he be scared?There was nothing to fear.Life was wonderful.
The fear eased from his eyes as he blinked and then he blew out a breath as if forcibly reining his emotions under control.When he leaned in and tenderly cuddled me, my muscles relaxed.“I swear to you, Aspen, I wasn’t lying when I said I never forget.I don’t.I mean, I never have before.But this was...wow.Shit.It wasn’t like anything I’ve ever done before.And you have to admit it was totally unplanned.And we weren’t exactly thinking rationally, and...If I’d been in the right frame of mind to remember, then...Jesus, we probably wouldn’t have done anything in the first place.”
I pulled away and looked up at him with a crinkle in my eyebrows.But what the heck was he talking about?He cringed in apology.“I’m clean.You don’t have to worry about that.They make sure of that frequently while you’re on the football team.”
I nodded.“Okay,” I said, still not catching on until he added, “Are you, by chance, on the pill?”
The pill?
The meaning finally took root, and every muscle in my body tightened.For a moment, I felt like a complete idiot.I didn’t have a lot of experience in this, but still...I’d read enough and watched movies, and...I totally should’ve realized what he was talking about from the beginning.I had a PhD, for crying out loud.
What was it with smart girls turning stupid whenever a hot guy smiled at them?
Stunned that I’d just put myself in this situation, and it was really happening...to me...I started to pull away, needing space to deal with...everything.But Noel tightened his arms around me.
No longer steady and comforting, his voice shook slightly as he whispered, “Aspen?”
He stroked my hair with those sigh-worthy hands of his just as something thumped against the door of the supply closet we were in.
I yelped, and the people on the other side laughed amongst themselves, their muffled voices filling our tiny space and jerking me back to the present with a malicious vengeance, before they moved off again, obviously not realizing we were inside.
“Oh, my God,” I whispered, absolutely horrified.My mouth fell open.I tried to deny what had just happened, but I couldn’t.My skirt was still hiked up to my navel and something wet was slipping down the inside of my thighs.
“Don’t freak out,” Noel commanded in a soft, warning voice.He reached for my arm.
I squeaked out a sound and shoved him away, then gaped at him in utter horror.But...don’t freak out?Was heinsane?
“We just...”
He blew out a long breath and nodded.“Yeah.I know.”
“At school,” I hissed, completely losing my cool.“Omigod, omigod, omigod.”Flapping my hands, I walked in a circle because there was nowhere else to go in this cramped closet, and I certainly couldn’t leave and risk anyone seeing me in my just-had-the-best-sex-of-my-life look.Realizing how rearranged my clothes still were, I beat them back into order, shoving my skirt down over my legs and jerking it around until the zipper was back where it belonged.My blouse was a disaster, there was no way to get the wrinkles out, but I desperately tried to iron it into submission with my hands.
“I can’t believe I just had sex with a student.I’m going to be fired before I even make it back to my office.Oh, shit.Damn.My parents are going to find out, and probably everyone else.”Eyes widening, I looked up at him.“Oh, hell.You’re Noel Gamble.This is definitely going to make the news.It’ll be even bigger than the coach with the volleyball player.Oh...my God.I’m going to be a scandal.How can I be a scandal?I’ve never even gotten a parking ticket.I drive the freaking speed limit and use my blinker to change lanes.And this one time, the telephone company refunded me too much money on my cell phone bill, but I caught the error and gave it back.I.Gave.It.Back.I always do the right thing.I never...Oh, my God.This is the worst thing I’ve ever done.I can’t even—”
“Breathe,” Noel ordered, catching my shoulders and pressing my back against the wall.“Just calm down, okay.”
I drew in a heaving breath, realizing I hadn’t breathed since I’d started my panic attack.I looked up into Noel’s eyes, seeking reassurance.He appeared calm enough for both of us, so I took comfort in that...for like a microsecond.But then it all hit me again.
“Your coach,” I gasped.“Oh, my God, Noel.Your coach said he’d kick any player off the team who was caught—”
“Then we just won’t get caught,” Noel spoke over me, determination lighting his gaze as he gritted his teeth.
“But—”
He kissed me silent.Rough and quick, but it effectively shut me up.Gripping my face in his hands, he forced me to look at him.“What we did was amazing,” he said as if willing me to believe that as fiercely as he did with his stare alone.“It was just between you and me, and it was no one else’s fucking business.I know you won’t show me any favoritism in class, and I sure as hell won’t ask for any.I’ll work my ass off to earn whatever grade I get.We can keep the two separate; that’s all that matters.And we’re two consenting adults who—”
“Who just did it in closet like a pair of irresponsible teenagers without any protection.Oh, my God.I’m supposed to be some kind of role model for all the young girls on campus.What kind of message would this send?Damn it, Noel, you know this is wrong.This can never happen again, not that it matters.We’re going to get caught as soon we open this door, and it’s all going to be over, anyway.”
He shook his head insistently.In that moment, I wasn’t sure if I’d ever met a more stubborn person in my life.“Look, okay, the condom thing was, yeah, a mistake.I’ll admit that one.Neither of us were thinking.Things happened.But it did happen, and we can’t undo it.So we’ll just...we’ll deal with those consequences if there are any.And we’re not going to get caught in here either.We’ll wait until everything settles down between classes.We can slip out after—”
“But I have another class to teach.”Oh, God.Just saying that aloud made this that much more real.And awful.
I’d just had hard and dirty sex, on campus, with one of my students, and I had another class to teach in...shit, twenty minutes.
