Page 48 of House of Pawns
I must say it slightly too loud, because the couple in the corner look over at me with a wary expression.
Luke looks at me with his eyebrows raised and I stifle a laugh.
“Careful there,” he says. “People in town are only just starting to calm down after the panic that started in December. Don’t you go starting it back up.”
“Is it really better now?” I ask as I take a sip of my drink. “I haven’t heard of any more people disappearing.”
Luke’s eyes darken. “Missing persons reports are up seventy percent in Hipsbro County. Things have been quiet in Silent Bend the last few weeks, but the area is still unsafe. In town, people are still on edge. But now that they’ve seen you aren’t what your father was rumored to be, they’ve relaxed. I’m pretty impressed with how quickly you’ve changed the people’s opinions about you.”
“Money has a way of changing people’s minds,” Fred says darkly.
Luke shrugs, giving him that. “They appreciate being given what the town did need.”
“Do you have a plan yet?” I ask Luke. “On how you’re going to get the people out of here when a certain lunatic comes?”
Tina brings him his coffee and he holds it between his hands, as if to warm them up. “I think you’re underestimating how deep people’s roots run here,” Luke says. “It’s going to take nothing short of an act of God to get them out of here.”
“Surely you have something,” I say in a low hiss. “People will die if they stay here, Luke.”
“What do you expect me to do, Alivia?” he growls back. “I am one man and people are stubborn.”
That dark snake I’ve felt growing inside of me slithers up through every one of my veins. “I’ll tell the whole damn town what I am and show them the members of my House. I’ll bring out the show of blood and destruction if I have to, if it will make them leave. I won’t have Silent Bend’s blood on my hands when the King comes.”
And I can tell I’ve taken things too far when I see the look on both their faces.
I think about what I’ve said. It’s dark. And demented. And the Alivia of three months ago would never have even thought of it. But circumstances change people.
“Alivia, you can’t make any guarantees of how long the King will stay,” Luke says quietly, glancing at the couple again. They’re being too quiet and still and that makes me think they’re listening in on what we’re saying. “What if he stays for weeks? Months? People won’t have anywhere to go. Their roots are deep here and they’ve survived hardship before. No matterwhat you do, there are going to be people caught in the crossfire.”
I swallow hard.
I can’t imagine how that will feel, if people get hurt because of me. Because of this life I couldn’t help. Because of my heritage.
“I hate this,” I say as I fold my arms over my chest and lean back in my seat. “The fact that people might die because of me.”
Their silence is an awful weight on my chest.
The couple in the corner whispers something and my attention darts over to them. They’re looking at me with hesitance. “You should leave,” I say, more coldly than I thought I was capable of. “You should leave Silent Bend. And don’t come back.”
I suddenly stand, not bothering to see their reaction. I don’t need any more of this. I don’t want it.
I’m hiding from my guilt. But in the moment, I don’t know how else to deal with it.
“Thanks for the lovely chat, gentlemen,” I say as I step back from the table. They’ve both got startled expressions on their faces, but they don’t say anything as they watch me leave.
I take a deep breath of the cold air when I get outside. But my heart leaps into my throat when an ambulance goes racing past me, down toward the river. I watch it turn off of the main street and down one of the residential areas.
My heart aches. Ian should be in that ambulance. Wearing his uniform. Saving lives.
Instead he’s hiding.
I take a shaky breath and head for my car.
I take the long way home, driving out to the edges of SilentBend, where the houses are few and far between. They’re run down, many of them simple trailer homes. Long grass fights against multitudes of trees, the undergrowth thick. I weave down different roads on my way back. Memorize the lay of the land.
It feels like home. That’s certain. But it doesn’t feel quite like I want it to.
I just want to belong. And that isn’t going to happen. Not in a normal way.
