Page 55 of House of Pawns
“Look at us,” I say quietly. “I thought love was the word that described what I tried to do for you that night. That it was why you kept coming back to me, knowing my fate. But it seems I was wrong.”
Ian places his hands on his hips, breathing hard through hisnose as the red of his eyes slowly, very slowly fade. “It appears so.”
We just stare at each other for a long moment. I keep waiting to wake up from this nightmare. For something to change. For either of us to say we don’t mean what has just been said.
But it doesn’t. We don’t.
“I think you should leave, Alivia.”
And that, him using my given name, that’s the dagger through the heart.
So it’s a thing of survival when I speak. “If I do, I won’t come back.”
And it’s a promise. In more than one way. He’s been my voice of balance and reason when it came to this world. I won’t survive his rejection without protecting myself. I feel it closing in on me now. If he does this, I won’t come back to the girl he knew, because it will be too painful to be her.
Maybe he knows my true meaning. Because he takes a really long time to respond.
“Just go.”
My face goes numb when I nod. I grab my coat off of the couch. I open the door.
And I don’t look back when I walk out. When I walk back to my car. I don’t look to see if he’s watching me go as I back up.
And I don’t cry on the drive home.
Let my heart turn to ice, and I won’t wither and die.
Chapter
Twenty
WE HAVE SEVEN MORE EMPTY rooms here in the Conrath Estate. Raheem tells us we should expect a dozen of the King’s court members to join him in his visit.
Rath orders new furniture for Ian’s old bedroom, the one right next to mine. Lavish furnishings fit for the King he is. The other six rooms are taken extra care of. The steel window coverings once used for my father are reinstalled throughout the entire house.
I see it in my House members eyes: they’re nervous for the King’s arrival. As they should be. But they’re brave. They’re going to stay by my side.
And I realize something important: Ever since I learned about my father, I’ve felt this hole inside of me. I’ve felt hollow, empty. I want to know Henry. I’ve felt robbed of something, of the family that everyone around me has had.
But I don’t feel so hollow anymore. My House members, they’ve become family. They’ve begun filling me back in, one individual at a time.
They may be dark. They may have flaws. They may not even be human, but they are mine.
Four days before Cyrus’ arrival, I’ve just walked downstairs when the front doors explode open. Samuel sails across the foyer before crashing into a wall. Markov appears in a blur, his hands around his throat, his eyes glowing with death.
“What is going on?!” I bellow as I dart across the marble floor and attempt to pull Markov off of Samuel. “Markov! Control yourself!”
“It ishethat needs to control himself!” Markov says as he hisses in Samuel’s face. He yanks on the front of Samuel’s shirt and once again he goes sailing through the air.
When Samuel lands beside the front door, his eyes dart to mine, and I notice the rush of blood covering his lips, cascading down over his chin, running down his neck.
“What did you do, Samuel?” I ask in horror. My limbs go numb. Markov stops at my side, seething, his entire body trembling with anger.
Samuel looks in fear from me, to Markov, and back again. “I…it just happened before I could stop myself…”
“Don’t act like you don’t know yourself, man-whore,” Markov growls. He takes one step toward Samuel, my hand darts out to grasp his wrist and stop him. He doesn’t look my way, but he does halt.
“What,” I say, leveled and in control, “happened?”
