Page 63 of House of Pawns
There’s an empty box sitting on the dining table. Inside it was a pair of light-blocking goggles for each of my House members, as well as a pair for me, which I will probably need in a few days. I handed them out, and they were received with excitement.
They’ve worked through the daylight hours without issue since.
Forty-eight hours. And, with each passing minute, I feel the weight on my shoulders growing heavier and heavier. My heart breaks into random sprints. Over and over.
My cell phone dings as I put some rolls in the oven and I find a text from Luke.
Town is fifty-two percent evacuated. Assuming it will be more by mid-afternoon.
It’s six in the morning, he must have just started driving around town.
Thanks for the update,I text him back.
“The Sheriff?” Lillian asks. She sits at the counter, watching me work.
I nod as I turn to the green beans I’m slicing. “People are leaving, slowly.”
“There’s nothing more you can do about this, Alivia,” she says, that warmth and caring so specific to her coming through in her voice. “You couldn’t have stopped the danger that is coming, no matter what you did.”
I nod, though I don’t really take her words in.
Just as I finish slicing the last few beans, my hand slips, and I nick my thumb.
Red oozes quickly to the surface. I pull it toward me and a heavy drop of it splatters to the countertop.
I glance up at Lillian. Her eyes widen slightly, her nostrils flaring. She bites her lower lip and closes her eyes for just a moment.
But she looks up at me quickly, and I swear I see a hint of fear in her eyes. She’s thirsty, but she won’t risk having to be punished like Samuel was. She won’t drink of my blood again, nor will any of my other House members.
“I’ll go get you a bandage,” she says, quickly leaving the kitchen.
And once again, I’m alone.
With every passing day that I gain more control over my House, the more respect and the more like a royal I feel I am seen as, the more lonely I get. Because Ian’s words echo in my head. Loyalty. How true is their loyalty to me? Am I nodifferent than Jasmine? Do they follow me out of fear? Because I hold the most power?
Will I ever have another genuine relationship again in my life?
The loneliness squeezes my chest.
And for a moment, I feel as if I’m suffocating.
I can’t do this.
I can’t be a leader.
I cannot stand up to a King.
I cannot live the rest of what will be an eternal life manipulating and planning and strategizing.
I can’t do this.
My breath starts coming in and out of my chest far too fast. My skin feels too tight, my throat too small to breathe.
I stumble out of the kitchen. I break through the ballroom and my body isn’t sure which direction to flee.
So without thinking, I walk out one of the back doors. I stumble through the snow. It’s nearly a foot deep now, but I trudge through it, sucking in the cold air harder, deeper, faster.
My vision tunnels and something hot and sharp bites the back of my eyes.
