Page 135 of Don't Puck His Best Friend
"What's wrong, Harp?" he asks, concern heavy in his voice.
I just shake my head, unable to explain the dream I just had. "I thought I lost you."
"You're not losing me."
I kiss him hard, desperate to feel something real, something that proves this is reality and not another dream. He grabs the back of my head and kisses me back with equal intensity.
"I want you, Cole," I cry between kisses. "I want you forever... I want to marry you, have kids with you... I want—"
He kisses me in response, his tongue working against mine, silencing my desperate words. When he pulls back, his forehead rests against mine.
"Harper, breathe," he says softly. "Just breathe."
I try, but my lungs feel tight. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for what I said. I would never—"
"I know." His hands frame my face, forcing me to look at him. "I know, baby. It's okay."
"It's not okay. I told you I'd go on a date with Liam. I said it to hurt you, and I—"
"You were angry. You had every right to be angry." His voice is steady, calm, everything I'm not right now. "I should have told you about our past a long time ago. I should have been honest instead of letting Liam ambush you with it."
"But I—"
"Harper." He kisses me again, softer this time. "Stop. We're okay. We're going to be okay."
I nod, but I can still feel the phantom sensations from the dream. Liam's hands on me. The way it felt to be between them. The way my body responded.
"What was the dream about?" Cole asks quietly.
My face flushes hot. "It doesn't matter."
He studies my face, and I can see him piecing it together. His jaw tightens slightly. "Was Liam in it?"
I can't lie to him. Not after everything. "Yes."
He's quiet for a moment. "Was I in it?"
"Yes."
"Together?"
I nod, shame burning through me.
He exhales slowly, processing. "Did you... want it? In the dream?"
"I don't know. Maybe. But it was just a dream, Cole. It wasn't real. And I don't—" My voice breaks. "I don't want that in real life. I only want you."
"Are you sure?" he asks, and there's so much vulnerability in the question it makes my chest ache. "Because if you're not, if there's any part of you that's still wondering about him—"
"I'm sure." I grab his face now, making him look at me. "I'm sure, Cole. That dream scared the shit out of me because I realized what I could lose. You. Us. Everything we've built. And for what?Sex? I don’t value that. I want something real, Cole. I don't want Liam. I want you."
He searches my face for a long moment, then pulls me into his arms. We stay like that, holding each other, until my breathing finally steadies.
"I texted Liam," he admits quietly. "After you fell asleep. Told him the date was off. That you were with me and staying with me."
"What did he say?"
"He didn't respond."
