Page 27 of Ruthless Savior
He said I was free to leave if I wanted to go and risk it. Maybe he wants to see what I’m going to do.
If this is a test, I have a feeling I’m about to fail it.
I press my ear against the door, listening for any sound from the hallway beyond, but there's nothing. The coast seems to be clear if I want to try to sneak out.
I think about what Ronan said at dinner, about how he claimed he didn’t do this because he wanted something from me, other than the truth about what happened. He seemed genuine about it, but men like him don't do anything for free. I feel sure of that. There's always a price. And given the way he looked at me, given the tension that crackled between us every time we were in the same room, I have a pretty good idea what that price might be.
The thought should disgust me. It should make me feel sick and angry and desperate to get away from him. Instead, it makes heat pool low in my belly, and that makes me feel sick for entirely different reasons.
I can't be attracted to him. I can't. He's a criminal, a gangster, a killer. He brought me here against my will, no matter how nice the accommodations are. I should hate him.
I think about the way he looked when he told me he'd saved me, the genuine concern in his eyes when I panicked about my mom. The way he seemed almost… lonely. Like he’s as trapped in this situation as I am, just in a different way.
Stop it, I tell myself firmly.You're romanticizing him because he's attractive and you're scared and confused.That's all this is.
But even as I think it, I know it's not entirely true. There's something about Ronan O'Malley that draws me in, something beyond just his devastating good looks. Something that makes me curious about him, about how a man like him can exist in this world and still care enough to save someone he doesn’t know.
That shouldn’t be my concern right now, though. My mom and getting out of here should be myonlyconcerns.
That, and surviving Rocco De Luca.
The door swings open with barely a whisper of sound, revealing the dimly lit hallway lined with expensive artwork. My heart pounds as I step out into the hall, every nerve in my body screaming at me to go back to the safety of the room. But I can't. I have to try. The wooden floor is cool against my bare feet, and I pause, curling my toes against it as I look for which direction I should go.
The hallway stretches in both directions, lined with doors that are all closed. I head for the stairs, thinking that’s my best option, staying close to the wall and moving as quietly as possible. As I walk, I hear a sound from down the hall, something low and almost pained, and I frown. I should keep going, but instead, I turn, curiosity tugging me down the hallway as I pad quietly in the opposite direction.
There’s a door slightly ajar up ahead, cracked the slightest bit, as if the occupant went to close it and didn’t realize they’d failed to shut it completely. I pause as I hear the sound again—a low groan, I realize, and my cheeks flush as I realize what the sound could be.
I inch closer, peering through the thin crack, and I see Ronan in bed, only visible by the thin rays of moonlight barely silhouetting him.
His blankets are around his thighs, his hand wrapped around his…
I almost gasp, before I pressing my hand against my mouth.
Naive as I am about sex, I know what he’s doing. I can hear his heavy breathing, hear that low moan again, see his hand moving quickly over a long, thick shape that looks far too big to be what I know it is. Heat floods me as I watch his hand move in a steady rhythm that makes my breath catch in my throat. His eyes are closed, and I catch a glimpse of his face as he turns his head into the moonlight—an expression of pure need written all over it. The sounds he's making are so raw and desperate thatthey send a jolt of unfamiliar arousal shooting straight through me.
I should look away. I should go. But I can't move, can't breathe, can't do anything but watch as he brings himself closer and closer to the edge. His free hand is gripping the sheets, and I see the moment he comes, see his hips buck upward as he lets out a ragged groan of such undeniable pleasure that my knees go weak.
It makes me want to know what that feels like. What could make someone make a sound likethat.
For a moment, he just lies there, chest heaving, and I think I might actually die from the combination of arousal and mortification flooding through me. Then his eyes open, and even though I know he can't see me in the darkness of the hallway, I feel like he's looking right at me.
I stumble backward, my heart hammering so hard I'm sure he must be able to hear it. I need to get out of here. I move away from the room as quickly as I can, hugging the wall so he doesn’t catch a glimpse of the movement, and head back toward the stairs. I hurry down them as fast and as quietly as I can, rounding the corner toward the entryway when I hear someone speak.
"Going somewhere?"
The voice comes from behind me, and I spin around to find one of Ronan's men standing there, arms crossed, looking distinctly unimpressed. He’s tall and broad-shouldered, and his face creases with annoyance as he looks at me.
"I was just—" I start, but he cuts me off with a shake of his head.
"Save it. Boss said you might try something like this." He jerks his head toward my room. "Come on. Back where you belong."
I want to argue, want to fight, but the look in his eyes tells me it would be pointless. And besides, I'm still reeling from what I just saw, my body humming with an arousal I don't want to acknowledge.
He escorts me back to my room, though he doesn’t touch me, just follows closely enough that I know there’s no point in running. When we reach the door, he gives me a look that's thoroughly irritated, as though five minutes of babysitting me has ruined his whole evening.
"Word of advice? Don't try that again. Next time, I might not be so nice about it."
I doubt he could do anything to me, but the message is clear: Ronan might have said I could leave, but sneaking out at night isn’t an option. I guess I’ll have to announce my departure during daytime hours if I actually want to go.
