Page 30 of Ruthless Savior
I take a deep breath, gathering my courage. This is it. This is my chance to take control of the situation, to turn my attraction to him into something useful instead of just a source of confusion and guilt.
"I have a proposition for you," I say, my voice steadier than I feel. "Something that might benefit both of us."
His eyes narrow slightly. "I'm listening."
I take another step closer. The scent of his cologne is stronger now, and it’s intoxicating, the kind of scent that would cling to a woman’s clothes for days after and remind her of everything he did to her the night they were together. His hazel gaze holds mine, and I can feel myself losing my nerve. I step closer still, edging around his desk so that I’m standing at the corner of it nearest him, and I see that wariness in his eyes intensify.
I force myself to speak before I can chicken out.
"You want me," I say simply. "I can see it in the way you look at me, hear it in your voice when you talk to me. And I... I want you too."
The words hang in the air between us, and I watch as his expression shifts. The wariness vanishes, replaced by a flash of heat that quickly changes into shock and alarm. His hands flex against his thighs, and he shakes his head.
"Leila—" he starts, but I cut him off.
"Let me finish." I take one more step, close enough now that I could reach out and touch him if I wanted to. "I know you're trying to be honorable, trying to protect me.” I don’t know that, actually, but it sounds good. And flattery is probably my best chance at making this work. “But what if I don't want to be protected? What if I want something else entirely?"
"What are you saying?" That wariness has returned, but I can hear a rough note in his voice, his accent thickening as it drops to a lower register. Something in me reacts to it, heat flooding me at the sound of his voice rasping through the air.
"I'm saying that I'll sleep with you," I tell him, my heart hammering so hard I'm surprised he can't hear it. "I’ll give you my virginity. I'll give you what you want, what we both want. But in exchange, I want you to pay off my loan and let me go home to my mother."
The silence that follows is deafening. Ronan stares at me for a long moment, his expression unreadable, and I start to wonder if I've made a terrible mistake. Maybe I misread the situation. Maybe he doesn't want me as much as I thought he did.
Then he speaks, his voice so low I have to strain to hear it.
"You have no idea what you're offering."
"Yes, I do." I lift my chin, trying to project a confidence I don't entirely feel. "I'm offering you my virginity in exchange for my freedom. It seems like a fair trade to me."
Something flickers in his eyes at the word 'virginity,' something hot and possessive that makes my breath catch. But then he shakes his head, standing abruptly from his chair and taking a step back, putting distance between us.
"No," he says firmly. "Absolutely not."
8
RONAN
The words come out harsher than I intended, but I can't help it. The sight of Leila standing there, chin lifted defiantly, offering herself to me like some kind of bargaining chip, has thrown me completely off balance. Every cell in my body is screaming at me to say yes, to take what she's offering and damn the consequences.
But I know better. And I have more self-control than this.
I can't. I won't.
The hurt that flashes across her face at my rejection feels like a knife to the gut, but I force myself to hold firm. She has no idea what she's asking. She barely knows what kind of man I really am or what I'm capable of. She thinks this is simple, that she can trade her body for her freedom and walk away clean.
It’s not that simple, and I’m going to have to be the one to explain it to her.
"Why not?" she asks, and I can hear the confusion in her voice, the wounded pride. "You want me, I can see it. And I'm willing. What's the problem?"
The problem. As if it’s as simple as one singular problem. As if it isn’t a convoluted mess of things, beginning with the factthat sleeping with her won’t actually fix anything. Even if I did exactly as she asked, it wouldn’t solve her problems. The fact that she’s offering it at all is proof of how naive she is about all of this, and just another flashing, red-light warning as to why I can’t even consider taking her up on her ridiculous offer.
Even if I’m half-hard just thinking about it, struggling to keep from getting a full-blown erection at the sight of this beautiful twenty-something girl standing in my office and offering me her virginity.
“To start,” I say as evenly as I can, “You're not thinking clearly. You're scared and desperate, and you're trying to use sex to solve a problem that can't be solved that way."
"Can't it?" she challenges, taking a step closer to me. The scent of her, sweet as honey, fills my nostrils, and my mouth goes dry as my cock thickens. "You're a powerful man, Ronan. You could make this all go away with a phone call. You could pay off my debt, make sure I'm safe, let me go home to take care of my mother. And I’m offering you one night in return. One night where you get to be my first. Apparently, that’s very valuable to a man like you.”
Christ, she has no fucking idea how valuable that is. But my jaw clenches at her phrasing. “Not to a man like me,” I tell her harshly—more so than I meant to—and I see her flinch back. “I don’t barter with women’s innocence. I don’t barter with people at all.”
