Page 52 of Ruthless Savior
"Conscience doesn't keep your people alive, Ronan. Conscience doesn't protect your territory or maintain your alliances. Conscience is a luxury that men in our position can't afford."
"Then maybe I'm in the wrong position."
The words hang in the air between us like a challenge. I’ve never said anything like that before. Never even dared to think it. My father goes very still, his hard eyes fixed on my face.
"What did you just say?"
"You heard me." Even as the words come out, I know they’re not wise. Without my position, I can do nothing for Leila or her mother. I’d be in as much danger as her if my father disowned me and took back what he gave me to inherit. From the look on his face, he’s considering it.
"I heard you talking like a child having a tantrum because he can't have his toy." His voice drops to a dangerous register. "But surely I didn't hear the heir to the O'Malley legacy suggesting he's not up to the job."
"The job doesn't require me to sacrifice innocent people."
"The job requires you to make hard choices. To put the family above your personal feelings. To think beyond your own immediate desires." He moves closer to the desk, looming over me. "All things your wife's death should have taught you, if you'd been paying attention."
"Leave Siobhan out of this,” I snap.
"Why? Because it's uncomfortable? Because it reminds you that your emotional decisions have consequences?" His voice is brutal now, every word a blow. "Your wife died because you were too distracted to protect her. Are you going to let this girl be your distraction now?”
I'm on my feet before I realize I've moved, my hands flat on the desk between us. "That's enough."
He straightens, smoothing down his suit jacket. "You ignored her because you didn't love her, didn't want to deal with the complications of an unhappy wife. So she went looking elsewhere for attention, took risks she shouldn't have taken, put herself in dangerous situations."
"That was her choice." My jaw clenches. “I made mistakes, but she made the choice to put herself at risk. She wasn’t helpless or brainless. She wanted to hurt me, and she put herself in danger to do it.”
"Enabled by your neglect. And now you're doing it again, but from the opposite direction. Instead of ignoring this girl, you're obsessing over her. Either way, you're not thinking clearly."
The comparison stings because there's just enough truth in it to hurt. But this is different. Leila is different. I’m going to make sure it’s different.
"I made things worse for her by taking her from De Luca," I say quietly. "I put her in more danger, not less. I'm not going to compound that mistake by throwing her back to the wolves."
"Even if it means war?"
“Yes.” My voice is flat, final.
"Even if it means losing everything we've built?"
"Yes."
Padraigh stares at me for a long moment, and I can see the exact moment when disappointment transforms into something colder, more final.
"Then you're not the man I raised."
“Maybe that’s not who I want to be.”
He sniffs. “You don’t mean that. I’ll give you two days to think about it, Ronan. I’ll talk to the Russians. I expect you to rethink this decision. The girl goes back to De Luca, one way or another."
The threat is unmistakable. My own father is threatening to hand Leila over against my wishes, to undermine my authority in front of everyone who matters.
"You won't touch her." I bark the words, like I’m speaking to someone under me, and my father doesn’t flinch. He knows as well as I do the power he still has over me.
"Try to stop me."
We stare at each other for a long moment before he turns and leaves, his steps measured and precise—not storming out, just leaving. I drop back into my chair, trying to process what just happened. In thirty-seven years, I've never directly defied my father. Never refused a direct order, never challenged his authority so completely.
The realization that I’ve just done so is terrifying.
I’ve never considered the difference between being a good son and being a good man. All my life, I've assumed they were the same thing. My father raised me to believe that family came first, that personal desires were secondary to the greater good of our organization.
