Page 99 of Ruthless Savior
"I need to tell you something, and I need you to let me finish before you react."
Something in my tone must alert him, because his expression grows guarded, the calm from moments ago disappearing.
"All right," he says carefully.
I take a deep breath, then another. There's no good way to do this, no gentle way to ease into it. I might as well just tell him, rather than continuing to draw it out. "I'm pregnant."
The words hang in the air between us like something turned physical by the weight of what I’ve just said. Ronan goes completely still, so still I wonder if he's even breathing. His face drains of color, and I watch as understanding dawns there.
“So, our wedding night.” His voice is flat and emotionless, and my stomach twists in knots.
“Yeah,” I whisper. It couldn’t be anything else; that’s the only time we’ve actually had sex.
"Christ." He runs both hands through his hair, turning away from me. "Bloody fucking Christ, Leila."
"I know this wasn't planned. I know this complicates things?—"
"Complicates things?" He spins back to face me, and there's something wild in his eyes, something that looks almost like panic. "You have no idea… this changes everything. This is… this is a fucking disaster."
Inexplicably, I feel tears spring to my eyes. I don’t even know ifIwant this, but something about hearing him refer to the pregnancy as a disaster feels like a stab to the chest. "It doesn't have to be?—"
"Doesn't it?" His laugh is harsh, bitter. "We had an arrangement. A temporary arrangement. And now..."
He can't seem to finish the sentence. Instead, he starts walking away from me, his strides long and angry. I’m not sure if he’s going back to the house or somewhere else, but something in me resists letting him just walk away from this.
"Ronan, wait!" I hurry after him, my heart hammering. "Where are you going?"
"I need to think."
Something snaps in me. "Think about what? About whether you want anything to do with your own child?" My chest feels like it’s aching. I hadn’t expected him to be this… angry. This cold. It doesn’t feel like the Ronan I know.
He stops so abruptly that I almost collide with his back. When he turns to face me, there's something dangerous in his expression. I take an involuntary step backward.
"You don't understand," he says, his voice deadly quiet. "You don't understand what this means."
"Then explain it to me!" The words come out louder than I intended, sharp with hurt and frustration. "You can't just walk away from this. This was your idea, remember? The marriage, the arrangement, all of it. You're the one who came to me with this deal, and now you're going to abandon me because it got messy?"
"I'm not abandoning you." His jaw is so tight it sounds like he’s speaking through his teeth.
"Then what are you doing? Because from where I'm standing, it looks like you're running away."
"I'm trying to protect you!" The words explode out of him with a force that makes me flinch. "I'm trying to keep you alive!"
I stare at him, trying to make sense of his anger. "What are you talking about?"
For a moment, he just stares at me, his chest heaving like he's just run a marathon. Then he drops down onto a stone bench nearby, running his hands through his hair rapidly.
“I was married before you.” He says the words rapid-fast, like he needs to get it out before he changes his mind. “Her name was Siobhan.”’
I bite my lip, wondering if I should tell him what I overheard. But secrets aren’t going to help things between us right now, and if he can be honest with me, I owe the same to him.
“I know,” I whisper. “I overheard your dad talking about her when you were arguing about me. I didn’t hear… much. Just that you were married.”
Ronan looks up at me with surprise, the anger fading for just a moment. “And you didn’t say anything?”
“I thought you’d tell me when you were ready.” I swallow hard. “It looks like I was right.”
“I—” He takes a breath, dropping his hands onto his knees and rubbing them back and forth. “Yeah. I wasn’t ready to talk about it with anyone.”
