Page 41 of Won't Let Go
I had to go and open my big mouth, didn’t I?
My mom won’t stop blowing up my phone, which tells me Jade already called her.
I can’t take it back. It’s out there now. Every fucking thing.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
I couldn’t just tell her I love her. Oh. No. I had to talk about marriage, the ring, and babies.
I’m a goddamn idiot.
Pulling up to the black, compound gate, I wait for it to retract before rolling through on my bike and parking out front of the clubhouse. I need a drink. I need… her.
Why did I have to go and say that stupid shit?
Jaw clenched, I swing off my chrome beaut and head for the one place to drown my sorrows—the clubhouse bar. It’s late, but the common room is hoppin’ when I make it inside. Brothers are shootin’ pool. Somebody let in a few whores, even though we’re currently at war. Brew must be takin’ a break from his old ladyand their baby, ‘cause when I drop my ass on a stool, he’s got a cold one in front of me within seconds and a shot of amber liquid as a little extra pick-me-up.
I lift my chin in thanks and down the ounce of hell. It burns like a son of a bitch on its path to my belly. I chase it with a beer. Brew fills it again, and I don’t say shit. I drink. Whatever he puts down, I toss back. It doesn’t take long for my eyes to grow heavy and my limbs to loosen. The numbness sets in like it always does when I get shitfaced, and damn if it’s not a relief to stop feeling for a bit. To stop thinking about her and my stupid-ass mouth.
Rock music pumps through the jukebox as one of my brothers gets a blowjob on the couch nearby. The brunette on her knees pushes her ass in the air, her skirt around her waist, and rubs that smooth pussy for all of us to see. My dick feels nothing. Not a twitch. Not an inkling of desire. Sure, she’s cute, objectively. This is the same reason Bitty and I haven’t had much of a relationship, sexually speaking. My cock doesn’t work for her. Not like it should. It takes special pills to stay hard. Oh. I know why that is, because I’m a one-woman man. And that woman?
Fuck.
I just screwed it all up.
One taste of that cunt.
Christ.
It was better than I dreamed.
Brew waves to someone who enters through the hall. When I follow his line of sight, I’m only half surprised to see Viper, naked, with his half-hard dick swinging like a baseball bat. Attached to his arms are Bitty and one of her friends. They’re also naked. Tits and pussies out. Hickeys on their necks. That fresh fucked look.
Right.
So, I guess we’re over, over. I mean, I suppose I should have known, given the fight on the phone the other night, but still, this is turning out to be an epic shitshow of an evening.
My girlfriend fucked my brother, and by the looks of it, that other chick, too. I didn’t know she was bi. Not that I care either way.
I just ate out my soulmate and came without touching myself.
Yeah.
This tracks.
Shit. Show.
Dropping my forehead to the cool bar top, I groan.
To make matters worse, the naked jackass with a zucchini for a dick, slides onto the stool beside me and clasps my shoulder. “Bro. You good?”
Yep. Just peachy.
“Sure,” I mumble.
Viper leans in and whispers too damn close to my ear. “I didn’t fuck your girl, if that’s what it looks like. I fucked her friend, and her friend fucked her. They’re chicks, so it doesn’t count.”
It does count, but I don’t have the capacity to give a single, solitary fuck.
