Page 33 of Wasn't Supposed To Be Yours
“I’m starting a new business venture, but I don’t want to talk about it too much until I have something to show for it. Nobody knows, so don’t jump down my throat, saying how I’m always leaving you out of stuff because that’s not true. My sisters are good. I talked to Free this morning, while I was on the way over here. Tommie is good too,” I let him know, and he smiled, while nodding.
“How’s Tommie’s girls doing? They still in college, right?” he asked, referring to my nieces.
“They’re good. Tailynn is in her junior year, and this is Tru’s first year of college. Tru goes to college in Miami, and she doesn’t live on campus, so we see her all the time,” I smiled, as I was talking about my nieces.
Tru was the one that had stressed the entire fuckin family out a couple of years ago because of the trafficking shit that she’d gotten herself into, but she’s done a complete change with her life. That girl goes to school, and when she wasn’t home studying, or doing homework, she was at the hair salon, where she was renting a booth, and she was taking clients.
With the help of social media, and the fact that my niece had talent when it came to doing hair, her business has been booming. I was just glad that she’d gone to college, and she was pushing to get that business degree. She wanted to do cosmetology school after earning her business degree. When I say that I was proud of that girl, I really meant it because for so long, her ass had me, and everyone else scared for her.
“What your mama been up to with her shit talking ass?” he asked, and that question had me laughing.
“She’s good. I can’t wait until you come home and see her. You going to want her back. She looks so good. Nothing about her gives that she’s a woman in her fifties. Every time we go out, men never believe that she has grown ass daughters. They think that she’s our age. She won’t entertain none of them though. The two of you must be having conversations on the side, and she must be holding you down because it’s no way she be turning all these men down like that,” I expressed, and when I said that, he shook his head.
“Your mama probably just reached an age where she’s not trying to experiment with no more niggas. Me and her don’t even talk like that. Every time I hit her up, we get into it about some bullshit. I already know that a big part of her is angry at me for the wrongs that I did in the past, which landed me in this fuckedup situation. I forced her to live a life where she had to raise you on her own, and then she went on to have three more children with them other bum ass niggas,” he spat, and if Free was sitting next to me right now, she would have cursed him out because Free didn’t play when it came to her daddy. She would be ready to kill any, and everything when it came to that man.
“You going to try and get back with her when you come home?” I asked him, and that question had him smiling that million-dollar smile.
“Shit, what you think?” he asked, and I chuckled because I should have known that that was going to be his answer.
“Why you don’t go over there to see your grandma, and the rest of your cousins on my side? Every time I call ma, she be fussing at me, telling me that she wants to see you, but you won’t go over there, and kick it with him. I ain’t asking you to go over there every weekend, but damn, you can’t go a couple of times out the month? My side of the family loves you too. You spent a lot of time with them as a kid,” I already knew that he was going to get on me about this. He always did whenever I talked to him over the phone, or when I came for visitation.
“Your family is so judgy, and I hate that about them. Your sister, and her kids are still living over there with grandma, and every time I used to come over in the past, they used to talk so much shit, saying that I thought that I was better than them. Then, grandma always talking shit about my mama, saying how she had all these kids, giving us different daddies. I just hate going over there to that kind of environment. I got a text the other day from Jaz, telling me that they were going to have a big 75thbirthday party for grandma, so I’ll probably go over there for that, but I’m not staying long,” I was honest with him.
Jaz was my cousin. She was my dad’s sister’s daughter. Me, and her were cordial. I guess our relationship was much better than the one that I had with the rest of them on his side.
“I’ll take that. I can’t show up because of my circumstances, so just step in for me. You ain’t gotta stay long. I need them to see how pretty my baby is. You know I like to brag when it comes to my creation,” he boasted.
A lot of the confidence that I had came from my father. I grew up, coming down to this prison to see him, and all I’ve ever heard were words of encouragement from him. He always told me how I was the prettiest girl in the world, and you could just tell that I was that one thing in his life that he was super proud of.
“What’s your love life looking like? What duck ass niggas out here trying to get some of your time?” I knew that question was coming as well. That was always a question from him. It’s been a while since I’ve dated.
After that whole circus act between me, and Garrus, I’ve been putting dating on the back burner, so for the longest, whenever he would ask me this question, I would always tell him that I wasn’t seeing anyone. This time, when he asked me that question, I was sitting here, fighting like hell to control the smile on my face, as I thought about Tank.
I’m not sure if that young man had put some kind of spell on me, but ever since last weekend when he pretty much kidnapped me from hanging with my sisters, and we shared that kiss, when his hands were exploring my body, or when he was whispering all kinds of nasty things in my ear, I couldn’t stop thinking about him. It was to the point that I was almost embarrassed about how I thought about him so much. I’ve played with my rose toy every day, up until yesterday when my cycle came on, and during my orgasms, all I could think about was him. I know I told him that I was going to block him, and pretty much run away from him, but that was a damn lie.
“Still the same. I haven’t been seeing anyone,” I lied to him.
“You get your lying from your mama, meaning that you can’t tell a good lie, just like she can’t. The second I asked you aboutyour love life, you started with that goofy ass smiling. Who this nigga is man? Who the fuck got my daughter smiling like this? Fuck going on?” he asked it in a joking kind of way, which had me cracking up.
“It’s nothing serious, daddy. We’re just getting to know each other right now,” I only told him a little bit, but I knew that he was going to press and want more.
“Is he my age? I know those are the ones that you typically go for,” he said, knowing his daughter all too well.
“No. He’s actually younger than me. Two years younger than me. He’s friends with my sister’s husband, June. That’s actually how me, and him met,” I let him know, and he nodded.
“Free’s husband used to be in the streets, right? That means that the nigga your talking about is in the streets then?” he wanted to know.
“He used to be. Daddy, you know me well enough to know that I’ll never in my life date a man that’s in the streets, selling drugs. He’s legit now. He owns a few smoke shops. He makes his money the legal way,” I stated, hating that I was even here sharing these things with him because really, there wasn’t anything serious going on with Tank and I.
“Aight. Yeah, next time you talk to that nigga, tell him that he gotta come see me. Ima add his name to my visitation list. I gotta get in his chest a little bit,” I waved him off, not going to say anything else about it because I felt like I’d already said too much.
We spent the rest of our visit talking about a little bit of everything. It’s like my dad would make a mental note of the questions that he wanted to ask me because all throughout the visit, he was firing questions at me back-to-back. With all the talking that we’d done, time had gone by super-fast.
Just as emotional as I’d gotten when I saw him, is the same way that I handled it when it was time for him to line up onthe wall with the rest of the inmates, so that they could go back to their cells. I had no idea what the hell was wrong with me because I hadn’t carried on this bad in a couple of years but just knowing that I had to leave this place without him was a pain that I didn’t think I would ever get used to.
I watched my dad from across the room, as I stood up, using my hands to wipe my eyes. He threw his hands up, making a heart, and he mouthed to me that he loved me. I made the heart with my hands as well, letting him know that I loved him too, and my heart shattered watching him as he was led out of the room.
I dried my tears as best as I could, and I stood in the line with everyone else, so that we could leave too. This trip that I was getting ready to take with Blake was coming right on time. I needed the distraction from the way that I’d just gotten my heart broken at this prison.
