Page 23 of My Brother's Best Men
“I’ll drive,” he says, smiling that pain-in-the-ass smile that I’m sure all the ladies love, but that gets under my skin on a good day.
“The hell you?—”
“If we want to get there on time, Eli, we need to punch it. Like ten minutes ago.”
“We would have left ten minutes ago ifsomeonehad gotten up on time, like I?—”
Benny pushes me aside, not taking my words for an answer, and I roll my eyes. I grumble as I head toward the passenger door, knowing it’s probably best not to argue at the moment. He is right about one thing—we do need to get moving.
I settle into my seat, shifting to try my best to get comfortable. It’s still dark out, and I focus on watching the streetlights as I let my mind wander. A dangerous thing, really.
Because my mind can’t stop thinking about Sophie. About last night…
I get lost in the shining street lights and the memory I know I’ll never be able to forget as long as I live. The moment when Sophie Martinkissedme.
I’d imagined kissing Sophie plenty of times throughout our friendship.And even now I can recall all those moments when I wanted to, but thought better of it. But I guess old habits die hard, or maybe I’ve just lost my mind because she’shere, and those feelings I thought I buried when I left for college, whensheleft, are still as prevalent as ever.
Technically, I kissed her, but she didn’t seem to mind, all things considered.
Because she was drunk and freshly broken up with her boyfriend. And you took advantage of her like some sleazy asshole. Way to go, Eli.
I knew kissing Sophie was a bad idea. She’d just admitted she straight-up lied to her parents about her boyfriend. But she told me the truth. Because she stilltrustsme, and that itself is a victory. She was being vulnerable with me, and it made me think of all those times in the past she’d been that way. How fucked up it was that I craved those moments with her.
The moments she was hurting because only I could truly make it better. Those moments she’d show up onmydoorstep, tears in her eyes, and run tomyarms.
The arms of her best friend.
And like the fucked-up person I am, I held those arms wide open for her. I heldherso many nights when she’d cry about some other asshole, feeling a sense of pride because for the briefest moment, whether she knew it or not, I could pretend she wasmine, and I could give her the comfort she wanted. The comfortonlyI could give her.
But then things changed.
Sophie stopped coming to me. She left for college, and I did too, and then the phone calls and text messages fizzled out like fireworks in the night sky.
And then she was just…
Gone.
Suddenly, this entity, this sun I revolved around, disappeared in an eclipse and I never saw or heard from her again.
Untilnow.
I knew it was inevitable the day Sam and Raegan announced their engagement. I was happy for them, truly. If there are two people in this world who deserve each other, it’s those two. They’ve been friends since we were kids too.
Anyone with eyeballs could see a mile away that those two are perfect for each other.
But as excited and thrilled as I was that my friends were getting married, I was also filled with dread because I knew I’d see Sophie again. And when that time came, I rationalized that I’d do whatever it took to win back her friendship.
Kissing her…when she was vulnerable, drunk, and on the eve of our departure to Paradise, was probably not the best way to rekindle a broken friendship, even though I’m not entirely sure what caused the break. Was it something I said? Something I did? I have no idea, and part of me wants to ask but…wordsapparently don’t come out of my mouth around Sophie as easily as they used to.
Yeah, kissing Sophie is not the answer. It’s a recipe for disaster, is what it is.
But considering I haven’t heard from her in years, the fact that shewantedto talk to me in the first place is a victory.Confidingin me…secrets…like she used to do…
Well, it made it feel like the good old days for the briefest moment, and I guess I couldn’t resist slipping back into old habits.
I thought a lot about kissing Sophie—among other things I knew would never happen—when we were younger. I thought so many times in the quiet of my house or my dorm that if I had the chance, I’d muster up the courage and just go for it. But every time I found myself in her presence, I was too enamored, too scared shitless. I thought that if Ididshe would freak out. Maybe even punch me.
I saw a girl punch Benny once when he moved in to kiss her at a party. Guy had a black eye for like four days. But of course on him it looked badass and all theothergirls loved it. I swear, he’s the only man on the planet who can take a hit like that and come out on top with a new woman on his arm like it was nothing.
