Page 72 of My Brother's Best Men
A thousand thoughts and emotions hit me all at once. Memories of us. Me and him, but also me and the guys. All the men who didn’t stay. Keaton and that woman. My brother and Raegan, kissing each other like the world doesn’t exist.
I wrap my arms around Benny’s neck, pulling him closer. His scent and hold feel safe. Warm. I’ve never felt like this with anyone except Elijah…
He carries me to the bathroom and kneels down to start the bath. I blink as he carefully steps into the tub with me and relaxes into it, holding me close against his body. The water fills around us and I say nothing as the tears come.
“I’m sorry,” he says. “I didn’t mean to push you so hard, I?—”
“No,” I say. “I just…feel like…” I let out a nervous laugh. “I don’t usually give in this easily.” He purrs against my neck as I add, “I’m on the pill. Just…so you know.”
His breath on my skin is warm and I think he’s not going to say anything, but he does.
“I don’t have anything, if that’s what you’re worried about. Rumors might be true, but I’m clean as a whistle.”
My body unravels with tension I didn’t know I was holding as I nod, a sob escaping my throat.
“I pushed you too hard,” he mutters. “I’m sorry.”
“No…you didn’t. I just let go of this huge weight and?—”
Benny holds me tighter, burying his face in my hair.
“It felt good. Really,” I whisper.
It’s not a lie. Truthfully, itdidfeel good. Like we’ve crossed some invisible line, stepped over it and now the field is open. Uncharted territory beckoning me to keep going…
“You’re a good girl, Soph. Really. I’m just an asshole.”
The unspoken words between us are so loud, it’s as if we can hear them, evident like our heartbeats. His tone is soft, full of concern. Sadness, dare I say, and I reach with my foot to shut the water off before the tub overflows. I lay my head on his chest, his heartbeat prominent in my ears.
“No, you’re not an asshole,” I say. “You’reintense.There’s a difference.”
His breathing slows, but he doesn’t move his face from where he hides it in my hair.
“My last girlfriend cheated on me,” he says carefully.
I freeze at his words. “What?”
“About a year ago. Haven’t really been with anyone since then. She was married. Didn’t tell me about her husband. My ex before that cheated on me too. And the one before that?—”
I move, looking at his face. “How many times have you been cheated on, Benny?” I ask.
“Too many,” he says. “So, I get it. I know how you feel. But I’ve also known about a lot of those instances too. Played my part as the other guy. Kinda hard to break a role once you’re typecast.”
I curl against him, my hand resting on his palm. I keep his gaze on me.
“I just…don’t want to be the other guy again. I know what we’re doing is…” He lets out a heavy breath. “I know you have feelingsfor Eli and Matty. And maybe you have feelings for me too…” The last part is barely a whisper. “Maybe you don’t. I don’t fucking know.”
“Benjamin…”
“So, I’m not going to tell you to pick me. They’re…better men than I am. Both of them. I just…don’t want you to forget about me and think of me like everyone else does. A thrilling carnival ride not worthy of…more.” He sighs.
“Oh, Benny…”
“I can handle beingtheirmistake,” he admits. His lips graze my neck. “I just don’t want to beyourmistake.”
I grasp his chin with my hand, feeling the faint tinge of stubble there as if he hasn’t shaved in a day or two. “I could never forget you,” I tell him, and it’s the truth.
Warm water sloshes around us as his gaze softens.
