Page 10 of My Brother's Best Men
I relax into the familiar fantasy, but instead of the long, languid Benny of my youth, I picture current Benny. Shirtless, those delicious hip bones pointing to that mysterious attraction.
My insides start to clench as I let the fantasy unravel, piece by piece. I imagine sliding my hands up over his chest, my fingers tracing the ink on his skin. I imagine him slamming me against the wall—like I used to think about all those years ago—and wrapping his hand around my throat.
Keaton wouldneverdo anything like that. I asked him once to smack my ass, and he thought it was weird. I tried to tell him it’s notthatweird—plenty of men smack their girlfriend’s or fiancée’s ass when they’re fucking them. It’s like, basic-level shit.
Keaton did have a way of controlling things in the bedroom, which if I’m being honest, I didn’t mind, because sue me—I like a man in charge. Most of the men I’ve been with think “takingcharge” is just telling me they’re going to fuck me and then getting three pumps out before it’s over, leaving me hanging like forgotten laundry. But I enjoy not having to bein charge.I had to reinforce the concept a lot, mostly because Keaton would only direct me to do whathewanted. His pleasure was always above mine, and it needed to come first.
Which is just another reason why it hurts so bad. What he did. I did everything he wanted, how was it not enough?
I tense, not wanting to think about my fiancé—ex-fiancé—especially like this.
Sex wasn’tbadwith Keaton, but it wasn’t really great either. It was just…routine. Or rather, it had dulled from when I first moved in.
We fucked a couple times a week, but it was always pretty much the same thing. A little kiss here, a little lick there, a little thrust, and that was that. At least, that was how it’d been since we got engaged.
My psyche wants to bitterly tell me that it’s because of her. Becausebeforewe got engaged, when we moved in together, sex was great. But after living together for six months, it tapered from a fire down to a consistently burning ember. I felt like having sex a couple times a week was good, all things considered. Even if Keaton seemed to prioritize his pleasure above mine.
I just attributed it to stress, but…I guess now I know the real reason.
I shove the thought of him out of my brain as I speedily stroke my clit, gritting my teeth as I try to latch on to the thought of something better.Someone better…
And for a little while, it works. I imagine Benny with his tattooed hand around my throat, pressing his sizable erection against me. I imagine his mouth on mine, his thick fingers stretching me instead of my own. A deep groan escapes me, and because I’m clearly a mess, that’s when the image of Keaton andhercomes to my mind.
All I can see is the stains of his cum on her skin, her pink pussy gleaming with his glaze. His cock stretching and pummeling into her ass.
The betrayal sinks in further, because I’d practically begged Keaton to stop using condoms since I was on the pill, but he refused because he said he didn’t want anyaccidentsuntil we were married. I was pissed, but when he told me how women in his past had tried to purposefully get knocked up so they could take a chunk of the family fortune, I relented. I understood, and I didn’t press him about it. And when I asked for anal, he refused. Told me he didn’t like it. Told me it was gross.
But he sure didn’t look grossed out with his bare cock buried inherass.
I bite back the tears as I stroke my clit and insert one finger in myself, rocking my hips as I combat the poison of Keaton and his betrayal alongside the familiar yet new fantasy of Benny.
When I come, it’s a relief, but I feel like shit. I didn’t enjoy it as much as I thought I would, and I know it’s because I can’t let go of whathedid to me.
I close my eyes, sighing in exasperation, and let slumber take me, vowing that tomorrow will be a better day. I’ll talk to Sam and Raegan, and I’ll focus on the details at hand—preparations for the wedding.
When I wake up, the clock reads ten thirty. I groan into the soft pillow, knowing I do need to get up, because I can’t sleep like the dead forever. I have to face Sam, and Raegan, and?—
Shit, what if Benny’s still here? That will be more than awkward, though he probably won’t remember a thing about last night, even if he is still here.
I hear the faint sound of voices outside, one being my brother’s, and I figure I can at least get up, shower, and then make my way out to talk to him and Raegan.
Reluctantly, I push myself out of bed and grab some clean clothes and my bag of toiletries. I’ll have to toss my clothes from yesterday in the wash since we leave tomorrow, and lord knows I won’t have time to do laundry at the resort because who actually does laundry at a resort?
I carefully open the door, looking back and forth down the hall to make sure the coast is clear. I don’t see anyone, but I can definitely hear my brother and Raegan talking with someone.
Benny, probably.
I hurry down the hall, slipping into the empty bathroom with ease, and go about setting up my stuff in the shower before turning the hot water on.
The warm water on my skin feels good, a welcome relief. I close my eyes for just a moment, and it’s almost like I’m back home.
Home.
Technically, I guess I don’t have one of those anymore, seeing as I moved in with Keaton and let the lease lapse on my apartment outside the city.
I let out a heavy sigh. Shit, I’m going to have to figurethatout too.
I make a mental note to look up any apartments outside the city that might have vacancies, but trying to find something is going to be a challenge on such short notice. Not to mention my things are still there, and I’ll have to swing by at some point to get my stuff, unless I call Keaton and?—
