Page 37 of Babies for the Big Shot

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Sara: You can’t say things like that.

Nick: I already did.

Nick: And I meant every word.

My hands tremble. Heat coils deep in my belly, heavy and restless. I’ve been holding back a rising tide for weeks, and now it’s crashing free.

Sara: What do you want, Nick?

Another pause. Then:

Nick: You.

Two seconds later:

Nick: In my hands. On my desk. On my mouth.

Nick: Anywhere I can have you.

Nick: Everywhere.

I press my hand against my chest, desperate to slow my racing heart. But it doesn’t budge. There’s no calm left in me. No professionalism. No safety.

And God help me… I don’t want to be safe anymore.

Sara: Tell me what you’d do if I was there right now.

His reply is instant.

Nick: I’d ruin you. Softly. Slowly. Until you forget why we’re pretending we shouldn’t.

I drop the phone.

Actually drop it.

It lands on the carpet and Meatball sniffs it like,girl, what are you doing?

I scoop it up again, fingers trembling.

Sara: I’m not wearing pants.

Nick: Fuck.

Nick: Now I’m not breathing.

Nick: I want you in my bed. Under me. Above me. Doesn’t matter. As long as it’s you.

Nick: I haven’t touched anyone since that night. Not once. And I don’t want to.

My throat tightens.

Not just from the words, but the truth of them. I believe him.

And that terrifies me more than anything.

Because I haven’t either.

I must be losing my mind. I don’t know what comes over me as I type.

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