Page 76 of Mister Cowboy
Looking back, Henry paused as he ran a hand over Sable’s side. “I figured there was a better chance of getting you to agree this way.”
Brecken ignored the way his lungs burned for air and forced his feet forward. His father’s horse. It was probably the thing on the ranch his father had loved the most. A man’s horse was more than a possession, it was a part of him.
“Do you want Sable?” Henry backed away from the horse and ran a hand through his blonde hair. “I assumed you’d want Master because he’s faster. I remember your need for speed.” He chuckled softly. “Sable here is pretty mellow in comparison, but you pick.”
“No.” Brecken stepped forward and placed his foot in the stirrup, pulling himself onto Master. “I prefer Master.”
He nudged Master into a walk and, after the horse was warmed up, into a trot, heading for the spot in the hillside that he knew would catch the first glimpse of the sun rising. His saddle creaked quietly under his weight, and he inhaled deeply, letting the cool air bluster around him while enjoying the way the cold stung his face.
Conscious that Henry was riding to his right rear, he nudged Master into a canter. Each time Brecken pulled away, Sable matched Master’s speed and Henry’s blond hair caught his peripheral vision. A large grin pulled at the corners of his mouth as he nudged the horse a little more, encouraging him to gallop across the open field. They rode side by side, pushing their horses and themselves beyond comfort.
It was reckless and childish, and so well in tune with exactly what he needed in that moment that a deep laugh burned his lungs as they rode madly toward the rising sun.
Master slowed instinctively as the terrain changed and the ground beneath them turned rocky. His chest rose and fell as he caught his breath. His shirt stuck to his damp body, and he wiped the back of his hand across his forehead, catching the sweat that trickled down.
“That was incredible. I forgot that feeling.” A glance at Henry’s big grin transported him back two decades. “You still ride well, like you never stopped.”
The unanswered question hung in the air. Henry swung down from Sable and patted her gently. “I managed to stay away from this place but never from riding. I haven’t had as much time to ride as I would have liked, especially over the last few years since work took over my life, but I’m making time now.” Henry’s voice had an edge to it that Brecken didn’t recognize. Henry had always been the fun-loving one. When they were kids there’d been no situation that he hadn’t been able to turn around and make the most of. Maybe that was part of the reason it had been so shocking when Henry had taken off without a word. It’d been so out of character for him and Brecken had been pissed he hadn’t seen the upside—that his best friend was his brother.
Henry placed a hand on top of his hat as if he were still getting used to it himself. “I’m sorry. It was a shitty thing to do, taking off without telling you the truth or even so much as goodbye. I was a wreck. Pissed at the world. After a while, well it felt like too much time and hurt had gone by to call.”
He jumped down, holding Master’s reins loosely in his hands. “How can you want this land? His land? I don’t get it. You waltz back here like nothing ever happened. You don’t even seem angry. I keep waiting for some sign that you’re as pissed off at him as I am, but you seem—” He struggled for the right word, unable to comprehend any emotion but anger when it came to their father. “Fine. I’m trying to wrap my brain around it. Ever since he died and left me this place, I’ve been trying to keep moving forward and put it behind me, but it festers. This land, this house, him—they’re lurking behind every corner, and I’m so damn angry. Why aren’t you?”
“I was for a long time,” Henry said while nodding. “I was fucking humiliated at first. I didn’t speak to my parents for almost a year after I left home. Then my parents got divorced, Dad moved to Arizona, and I guess it sort of put it in perspective. I think I had a right to know all those years and I’m not sure that the sting of embarrassment finding out the way I did will ever go away, but no, I’m not angry.”
“Embarrassed? You?”
“Hell yes. I walked around like I was a big shot. Mister Fucking Perfect.” He shook his head. “Only to find out I didn’t even know who I really was.”
“Dad left a journal, letters to me—life lessons, imparting wisdom bullshit. I swear to God I’m no closer to understanding why he did things like he did than I was before I read them. Your mom told me her side of the story, but why did he do it?”
“It doesn’t matter much now anyway, does it?”
“Hell yes it does.” Brecken’s voice raised slightly as he shot a surprised look at Henry. “Don’t you want to know why he didn’t tell us?”
“Why do any of us do anything? We make a decision, pray it’s for the best, and try to live our lives. Our parents made a bad call, and we all paid for it. You’re looking for an explanation that simply doesn’t exist.”
“I want to understand what he was thinking. I don’t want to make the same mistake he did. Nadia’s pregnant and January is so damn pissed she can barely look at me.”
“You want my opinion?”
He nodded.
Henry was quiet for a long moment before he answered. “Stop making it about him. What do you want?”
“It isn’t that simple.”
“Of course it isn’t, nothing good ever is. Stop trying to choose between two impossible scenarios, figure out how to have both.”
“Yeah, that would be your answer. Have my cake and eat it too?”
“Since you’re hell bent on making this about your desire not to turn into Dad, think about how life would have been different if my mom had married him. They’d have both been miserable and you’d have never been born. They should have told us the truth from the beginning. He didn’t have to choose between your mom and mine, or between me and you, he just needed to be honest.”
“Always honesty,” he mumbled, remembering the words January had said so confidently. She probably hadn’t considered this scenario when she’d smiled across from him that day as if nothing he could say or do would scare her away.
They walked the horses in silence and Brecken looked down at their bird’s eye view of the property and he saw it. Really saw it. It was time for him to move on.
“You really want to buy this place? Give up being a surgeon and move back here?”
