Page 20 of Electric Blue Love
“Do you cook?”
“You know, the way you asked that is almost as if you don’t think me capable.”
“Just surprised is all. I can barely boil water. What did you have for dinner?”
I failed to picture Court in the kitchen, but I was intrigued.
“Salmon, rice, vegetables – nothing fancy.”
“Wow, I’m impressed,” I admitted. “I guess I should have known you wouldn’t be a stereotypical bachelor living on TV dinners.”
“Why’s that 8B?” he asked, and the background noise stopped like he’d turned off the faucet.
I shrugged even though he couldn’t see me. “You continually surprise me. I guess I’ve been living with really bad assumptions about men my entire life. I should have been gathering information and figuring it all out, but I figured eventually it’d just happen. Guess not.”
The truth of that statement made me sink back into the bed. Why hadn’t I spent more time analyzing and researching men and relationships? And had any of my assumptions about men been accurate? Where did I even get my views? From my father? From his relationship with my mom? I’d grown up firmly in the lower-class bracket. There’d been months and years of stress as we struggled to pay bills or keep landlords at bay, but it hadn’t been a bad childhood by any stretch of the imagination. My father adored my mother. He treated her with respect and love – the same way he treated me and my brothers.
“Not the worst thing to find out.”
“Are you kidding me? I’ve been completely wrong about so many things. So many wasted years – I could already have all this data.”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself. Besides, think of all the amazing things that open up to you now that you’re aware. Things that are better to find out with a little age and wisdom.”
“Like?”
“Well sex for example.”
I scoffed but he kept going.
“No seriously, Bianca. You’re still plenty young. Most people have a rap sheet of shit they wish they could take back by now. You may have been naïve and even missed out on some experiences, but now you’re a responsible adult and you’ll have a degree behind you and be ready to conquer men, business, the world – you name it. You’re just getting started.”
“I don’t want to have a different experience from everyone else. I just want to fit in.”
“You’ll never fit in.”
The way he said that, I was sure it wasn’t meant as a dig, but it still stung.
“It’s not a bad thing,” he said, confirming my thoughts.
“But what if −”
He interrupted. “What if it’s too late? You’re twenty-two. Save the melodramatics for your thirties. That’s when women typically start freaking out about getting old.”
I laughed, a hollow sound.
“Are you a virgin 8B?”
His question caught me off guard and I inhaled sharply, cheeks flaming with heat.
“No!” I responded a little too loudly. “Of course not.”
“Just checking. You don’t need to get all defensive. So, you’ve had sex. Then what’s kept you from putting yourself out there more?”
“I guess I thought the right guy would just land in my lap and everything after would be perfect.”
“A romantic, huh?”
“Isn’t it obvious?”
