Page 42 of Electric Blue Love
Suffice to say, it may not have been a conscious decision, but my small circle of friends were from backgrounds as fucked up as mine. We weren’t playing a part or doing it to piss off our parents – we wished. We were the real deal. The sad sops whose stories made others uncomfortable.
Bianca was the first person I’d ever connected with who had a happy, functioning family life and that part of her made my dark feel darker, but all the good, all the light she brought outweighed the dark and I found it was worth it to be uncomfortable when I was near her.
However, I was seriously second guessing if she was worth it as I walked up to the Winters’ family home for the first time. Bianca had flown into town for her in-person interview tomorrow with JC Engineering and like a fool who couldn’t stay away I’d come straight from work when she’d texted and asked if I had plans.
“You made it,” Bianca said as she opened the door wide. There was a moment hesitation where it looked like she might throw her arms around me and pull me into a hug. And man, I wanted that. I wanted to feel her arms wrapped around my neck and her body flush up against mine. Instead, I stutter stepped into the house with my hands shoved in my pockets.
She wore a nervous smile and another one of her oversized dresses – this one in a light orange with big pink flowers. It seemed fitting, her old dresses and funky eye makeup, when placed against the backdrop of her family home. Mismatched furniture, shelves of knick-knacks, sketches pinned to the wall with tacks, framed pictures on nearly every surface – it wasn’t stylish, but it was lovely. And it was clear even without insider knowledge that this was a home filled with love.
“You too. What time did your flight get in?”
“Around noon,” she said as she shut the door behind me and led me through the house. “Everyone is out. My parents are at work until this evening and the twins should be home anytime, I think. They’re hard to keep track of.”
I nodded to indicate I was listening to her, even though she wasn’t looking at me, as I took in every detail of the house. Eight by eleven posed school pictures hung in cheap golden frames in the hallway. Bianca’s picture caught my attention first. Her hair was shorter and her face a little softer and younger, but the same blue eyes and reserved smile stared back at me.
On either side of her, matching frames held photos of her brothers. Despite the fact I knew they were twins, it was obvious from the pictures that their style and looks were different. One brother had shaggy blond hair and wore a graphic tee that I couldn’t quite make out the design of from the small portion not cut off in the frame. The second brother had shorter hair, worn longer on top but styled in a clean-cut way. He was wearing a black polo shirt that completed the preppy look that was such a weird contradiction to his brother. The one thing that there was no mistaking was they were related.
All three Winters children had the same blue eyes that burned into your soul. It was hard to look at those eyes on the face of her brothers when I’d started to associate them with being purely Bianca.
“That’s Leo,” she said pointing to the one with shaggy hair. “And that’s Donnie.” She swept her hand in the direction of the preppy twin.
I didn’t have time to do much more than nod before she was moving down to another framed photo, this one of a bride and groom circa the late eighties if the big hair and poufy dress were any indication. “My parents. Obviously, they don’t look much like that anymore.”
I peeled my eyes from the photos to Bianca standing beside me. She shuffled her feet and fidgeted with her hands clasped together in front of her stomach. She was nervous. What about, I wasn’t sure, but it comforted me somehow. Her insecurities brought out the same protective male instinct that her simple and honest reactions did. I wanted to comfort her and be someone that made her feel secure and confident to be herself.
“It looks like you have a really nice family,” I stated, and I meant it. This was not a home of pretention or overtures. The house was small, and the furnishings were out dated, but it was clean and organized and the feat that alone must have been with two teenage boys at home didn’t go unnoticed by me.
“Do you want something to drink?” she motioned toward the small kitchen.
I surprised myself by answering, “Actually, there’s somewhere I’d like to take you.”
I’d caught her off guard, too, by the look on her face. “Okay, let me just grab my purse and leave a note for my family.”
“I’ll get you back early,” I promised after she’d scribbled out something on a piece of paper.
“Where are we going?” she asked once we were outside.
I grabbed her hand and brought it up to my lips and placed a soft kiss to the back. “You’ll see.”
I knew Leika would be surprised at my willingly bringing a girl to our spot. Neither of us ever brought dates with us unless it was serious. Leika had brought a few others before Jeff, but I’d never brought anyone. And no, I wasn’t counting the numerous women Leika has blindsided me with by inviting them to “drop by” so she could introduce us.
I knew Leika would be surprised but the look on her face as I introduced her to Bianca was priceless. Her dark eyes widened and if her lips pulled her smile any bigger her face would split in two.
“Court didn’t tell me he was seeing anyone.” She gave me a look of approval even though her words hinted at a betrayal.
Bianca blushed, but I didn’t contradict Leika. She wouldn’t believe me even if I told her Bianca and I were just friends. “Bianca is just in town for an interview. She goes to school in Connecticut.”
“Oooh.” A million questions flashed by on her face, but Leika turned all her attention to Bianca and the two of them sat side by side like old friends as Leika gushed over her and peppered her with questions.
“I’m gonna get drinks,” I said to no one because neither was paying me any attention. It appeared that Bianca didn’t mind the way Leika was fawning over her because she was smiling and singularly focused on whatever they were talking about.
From the bar I continued to watch them and a weight I didn’t realize I was carrying lifted. Leika was important. She was the closest thing I had to family and I wanted her to approve of Bianca – even to like her. I hadn’t realized I needed that so much before I could situate my feelings for Bianca, but now that my mind was at ease, I let my gaze slide to the young woman and something stirred in my chest. I wanted her. Not in the one night, maybe see where things go kind of way. I wanted her to be something more. When was the last time I wanted anyone like that? Had there ever been a time?
As I got back to the table, Leika finally took a breath and the women looked at me as I slid in across from them. Bianca’s phone started ringing and she fished through her purse, pulling out the device and waving it as she said, “It’s my mom. I’ll be right back.”
After she was out of ear shot, Leika leaned across the table and whisper-yelled, “Oh my God, why didn’t you tell me you were dating? And a college girl? How long has this been going on?”
“We’re not dating. I met her on a flight to Connecticut and we’ve kept in touch.”
