Page 46 of Electric Blue Love
But this kiss…
This kiss made me feel charged.
Alive.
Hungry.
And his intent was clear.
He ended the kiss but didn’t let go of me. He rested his forehead against mine. Our chests heaved together, and our raspy breaths were the only noise.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to drag you into a dark room and –” His words trailed off and I could feel his body tense while he struggled to find words. “I think we covered today’s lesson.”
“What?” I said, still struggling to come down from the high of the kiss.
“Today’s lesson on men – if you follow them in dark rooms you’re going to get kissed,” he said as he pulled back and hauled me out of the bedroom.
I didn’t get the proper tour he promised, but I did see more of it as he took me to the kitchen to get himself a fresh beer and pour me a drink. He pulled out a new bottle of rum and a two liter of Diet Coke and mixed me a drink while my head spun from the kiss and the fact I was in his apartment meeting his friends. I didn’t ask him if he bought the diet and rum specific for me. I knew he had in the same way that he knew I’d dressed up for him.
“There you two are,” Leika stepped in from the patio.
I felt the blush in my cheeks, but Court just wrapped an arm around me casually as she joined us in the kitchen.
“You’re hogging, Bianca.” She looked at Court with a playful scowl. I was being pulled to her before I realize she’d grabbed my hand. “I’m stealing you.”
Court chuckled, and his arm fell away from my hips. “I guess I don’t have any say in this.”
She didn’t respond, but when I looked over my shoulder to Court he had a genuine smile on his face while he watched Leika and I walk away from him.
Leika monopolized Biancafor most the night. I wanted to not mind because part of me loved that they’d taken to each other, but the irrational part of me wanted Bianca next to me. Her presence made all of this more bearable. Sure, I’d had parties at my house before and, I’d probably even had a woman attached to my hip much the way Bianca had been. But they’d been a nightly stand in.
Jeff cornered me well past midnight when people started to say their goodbyes.
“I, uh, wanted to talk with you without Leika,” he said and tucked his hair behind his ear.
I gave him my full attention, noting he was avoiding eye contact and looked nervous as hell. Which made me nervous that he’d done something stupid and I was going to have to kick his ass. I liked Jeff. I’d almost even accepted him as a constant in Leika’s life.
“Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, no, it’s…” He cleared his throat and finally looked me in the eye. We were about the same height, but the way his shoulders sagged I had to crane my neck down to really look at him.
“What’s up man?”
“I want to ask Leika to marry me.”
A pit formed in my stomach like he’d punched me in the gut. His answer couldn’t have surprised me more and my body was doing all the reacting for me. I couldn’t form words, but now that he’d broken the ice he began to ramble.
“I’ve been thinking about it for a while. We’ve been together for almost a year. I love her. I want to settle down with her. I was going to ask her just to move in with me but then I realized I want that and more. I want all of it. You’re the closest thing she has to a male figure in her life and she’d never do anything without your blessing, so I’m asking for your okay first.”
I said the first thing that came to mind. A cheesy line I’d probably heard in a movie or a reality show Leika forced me to watch. “I want Leika to be happy and if marrying you is what she wants, then of course I’m okay with it.”
He grinned like he’d won the jackpot and I forced my lips into what I hoped was a smile. Leika. My Leika. He was right, I was her family – brother/father figure – whatever I had to be, but if she said yes, she’d be inheriting a real family. A husband, two brothers-in law, a mother and father-in-law. Probably cousins and aunts and uncles. I wanted to be happy for her. I should have been happy for her. I was an asshole for wanting her to not have a family because it made me feel less alone.
He was taking out the ring when I realized he’d continued talking and was now telling me how he’d picked it out today. He peeked over his shoulder to make sure Leika wasn’t in sight before opening the box. A shiny diamond ring sat in the velvet box and it was then that I realized this was always how it was going to be. I pushed people away or kept them at arm’s length, but Leika drew them in. She’d always been that way. Shit, she was off somewhere with Bianca right now welcoming her into our group and making her feel comfortable for no other reason than it was who she was.
“It’s beautiful. She’s gonna love it,” I assured him.
He slid the box back into his pocket. I itched to get away from him, but it was only the two of us now. I could see Bianca and Leika inside, deep in conversation, laughing and smiling and I wanted to be with them. Leika my family and Bianca my... I didn’t know yet, but I wanted to find out.
