Page 88 of Electric Blue Love
“Yeah, but this is different.”
I shook my head. “I’ll do sweet and sappy at the wedding.”
She nodded. “Alright, so whatcha got?”
I held the fork up to my mouth and motioned with my head to the kitchen. “I wrote down a few things. I’ll grab it when we finish eating.”
Her eyes widened in excitement and she stood and rushed to the kitchen. I watched her scan the counters and zone in on the folder Mercy Sterling had brought over.
Mouth full of orange chicken, I tried to wave my hands and get her attention, to communicate somehow that it wasn’t the right place, but it was too late. The look of excitement fell and in its place was a look of horror, and then sadness as she got to the pictures. She was lost to the contents of the folder, presumably at the check, and I’d crossed the room and was shutting it in her hands before she looked up.
“Is this…” her voice was shaky, and she looked up at me with disbelief. “Did he pay you off? Is that why you didn’t out him? Why you are suddenly okay with my mom seeing him?”
“No,” I said. My voice came out harsher than I’d intended. “Fuck, no. I never wanted his money. I wanted him to pay with his peace of mind and life of honor. He sent his wife over to make sure I wouldn’t go back on my word after your mom switched doctors.”
Realization dawned on her features. “I’m sorry, Court. He cornered me at one of my mother’s therapy sessions to see if I was in on it. I didn’t know what he was talking about of course, I thought Todd was the connection. Once I knew what you’d done, saw how terrible he really was, I couldn’t let him treat her anymore. He did treat her well, if that’s any consolation.”
“I guess it will have to be.”
“Why didn’t you out him publicly? He didn’t know our connection. Todd could have still got my mother in with him. Why did you step in?”
My jaw tensed at Todd’s name, but I considered her question. It was so simple, but was she really ready to know all my truths?
“I wanted to be the one to help you. To help your mom and your family. I’ve spent my whole life resenting dudes like Todd – like my father. And not just resenting them, wishing I was them. I was pissed off that I didn’t have that kind of life – it always seemed like the ones who least deserved it were the ones that ended up with money and power.”
“Oh, Court.”
“No, I get it now. I know that what he has is a shallow life. I don’t know who I’d be if I’d grown up with him as a dad, but I know I wouldn’t have met Leika or you – and you two are the best things in my life. I’d do anything for her. I’d do anything for you. I wanted to be the one you counted on. I don’t regret what I did. Your mother got what she needed. Maybe I should have told you first, but after you walked away, I didn’t know if I’d ever see you again.”
“I walked away, and you still put my happiness over yours,” she frowned, but placed a hand on my chest.
I shrugged. “That’s what you do when you love someone. The same way you put your mom first.”
“You loved me?” she asked and pulled her bottom lip behind her front teeth like she was trying to keep from smiling.
“Love, not past tense.”
I’d expected her to question me, analyze it like she did everything, or I even hoped she might say it back, but my little 8B took me completely by surprise when she threw herself into my arms. No words. No questions or proclamations, just her body pressed against mine. I took her mouth softly, wanting to give her this. Wanting to give her me. All of me. She reacted with a passion I’d forgotten her capable of. Okay, not forgotten, I’d savored those memories, replaying her kisses and moans so many times they’d become like a highlight reel. But I had pushed them so deep into my memories that it felt more like a dream than reality.
She pulled back and I missed the taste and feel of her immediately. She was lit up and smiling brightly as she took in ragged breaths. Touching her lips, she looked at me like she wanted to go another round and I was ready. So damn ready.
“I should go,” she said, and I faltered.
“What? Why?” I could feel my forehead crinkle as I struggled to understand why she was leaving.
“I need to do some extra work tonight and get to the office early tomorrow. It’s my dad’s birthday tomorrow night so I planned to take off a little early.”
“Oh, okay,” I shoved my hands into my pockets. “You didn’t even hear my toast.”
“I’ll hear it Friday. You don’t need my help. Leika will love whatever you say because it comes from you.”
She leaned up on the balls of her feet and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. “Talk to you tomorrow.”
I watched her go, completely dumbfounded. The door closed behind her and I paced. I replayed the entire night. What the fuck?
I tore out of the apartment and skipped the elevator, choosing the stairs instead to get to her faster. I reached her on the sidewalk, her hand lifted to hail a cab. I watched her, so damn beautiful and she looked so young and happy. She smiled as the cab stopped and she slid into the backseat and shut the door. The street was busy, and horns blared as traffic stopped and started all down 42ndstreet. As the cab driver edged back into traffic her eyes met mine with surprise. I lifted a hand, realizing how ridiculous I probably looked staring after her, but that sweet smile was back, and she lifted her hand to her lips and then blew a kiss in my direction.
I texted her as soon as I got back up to the apartment.
