Page 68 of The Fadeaway
She clears her throat and finally tears her eyes away from me. “Umm, sure. Yeah, let’s get you in the bath.”
I stand up and adjust myself. I think that’s what I need. A shower. A very, cold shower. I head back to Katrina’s room and into the small bathroom attached to it and strip off my jeans and boxers.
“Oh.” Katrina’s voice behind me is startled and I turn to find her eyes wide in surprise but that doesn’t keep her from standing there frozen as she checks out my junk.
“I’m gonna take a quick shower,” I tell her and make no attempt to cover myself.
“I, uh… towel.”
I spot the white towels stacked on top of a shelf over the toilet and grab one for her. She still stands there with towel in hand and I grow bigger at the hungry look in her eyes and the flashes of every dirty thing I want to do to her.
She backs out of the bathroom so slow I have to hold my breath and count to five to keep myself from reaching out and stopping her.
“Soon, Kitty.” I wink at her and she flushes before turning and disappearing from sight.
* * *
“You disappeared early last night,” Wes says as I take a seat next to him on the sideline. He’s got a dry erase clipboard in hand and I’m having a hard time taking him seriously as a new assistant coach. He doesn’t officially start until after graduation, but since he can’t play, he’s helping out with offensive strategy. Don’t get me wrong, he’s got the eye for it and I think the younger guys stand to learn a lot from him, but it’s still weird to have one of my best friends playing coach.
“I went to Katrina’s.”
“You know Blair is going to strangle you when you decide to move on from playing house, right?”
“Who says I’m playing?”
His eyebrows shoot up and he studies me closely. “So you’re serious about her then?”
I lift a shoulder and let it fall. “She’s a cool chick.”
“With a kid. I hate to be the one to be all doom and gloom on the situation, but your track record isn’t exactly indicative of your being able to handle a relationship, let alone one that includes a kid.”
Is that what everyone’s thinking? That I can’t handle it?
As if he’s read my mind, Wes says, “Look, Blair would never say it because she’s rooting for you and Katrina – that’s what she does, but I’m not sure you’ve really thought about what being with Katrina means – short term or long term.”
“You ever wonder what it’d be like to have a kid in high school or college?” I ask him.
The panicked look on his face is all the answer I need.
“My high school girlfriend got pregnant,” I tell him before he can compose himself to answer.
“No shit?”
“Yeah, that look on your face right now is how I felt at first. I remember how fucking scared I was when she told me, but I was excited too. Being a parent is a beautiful thing. I respect the shit out of Katrina for doing it on her own.” I check his expression which is disbelieving, and chuckle, but Wes and I are different. Our families are different.
Coach barks out orders for our after-practice workout and Wes and I fall silent.
I groan at the grueling conditioning I have to look forward to when all I want to do is go home and pass out. Maybe Wes is right. I mean one night over there and I’m dog tired.
“I’ve thought about it – what it means to be with her short term and long term,” I tell my buddy, but it feels more like I’m finally admitting it to myself. “I liked my life before I met Katrina, but when I’m with her and Christian, I dunno man, I’m just taking it one day at a time.”
He nods, considering my words and letting them soak in. That’s Wes, always thinking and calculating. I stand ready to get through the next hour so I can go home and make up for the sleep I lost this morning. One thing is certain, if I’m gonna stay over again, I need to teach the kid how to sleep in on weekends.
“Hey,” Wes calls. “You didn’t say what happened to your high school girl. Did she have the baby? There a little Joel or Joelina out there somewhere?”
It’s a wound that never quite heals and pain slices through me as I shake my head. “Nah, wasn’t meant to be, I guess.”
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