Page 94 of The Fadeaway
“I’m gonna get some alcohol for this. You like beer?”
“Beer’s good.”
Victor disappears up the stairs and I pull a squirming Christian into my lap. “How’s the team doing?”
“Good.” He grins ear to ear. “Maybe if they win, we can have pizza with Joel again?”
He looks so into the idea I can’t bring myself to do anything but nod as he jumps off my lap to stand in front of the TV.
“Alright,” Victor says, coming down the stairs with four beers, two in each hand. “Ready?”
We settle onto the old leather couch, facing each other. Me leaning back against the armrest and Victor on the other side foot propped over a knee.
“Favorite food?” I ask and take a sip of the Bud Light.
“Pizza.”
“Christian’s too.”
He glances to our son and smiles. “Yours?”
“Cheeseburgers. Favorite band?”
“Tupac forever.” He flashes a W with his left hand in the west side symbol and I laugh. I hadn’t pegged him for an old school rap guy.
We fire questions back and forth, neither of us counting and only stopping occasionally to track the game. Valley is leading and Joel looks good. No, he looks great. Christian bounces between standing a foot in front of the TV cheering and bouncing on the couch between us.
“I’ve got a question,” Victor says, pulling my attention from the TV. “What’s going on with you and the basketball guy?” He points toward the TV.
“Oh. Nothing.”
"Come on, we're sharing."
"He was helping me with my play, and we went on a few dates. That’s it. We’re just at different places. He’s not looking for a relationship, and I am. It was stupid to get involved." I shrug. “What about you? Are you dating?”
He shakes his head. “No. I mean a little at school, but nothing serious.”
We fall into a comfortable silence, staring at the TV even though it’s halftime and there isn’t really anything to see. Valley is up by ten and the announcers seem pretty confident that they can win as long as they don’t lose their minds in the second half.
The camera zooms in on Joel and Z walking back onto the court.
“I think you’re wrong about him,” Victor says. “Guy all but told me I needed to step up. He wouldn’t do that if he didn’t have a vested interest.”
“Wait, what? When?” That doesn’t sound like Joel. Or well, it does, actually, but I’m still surprised.
“That day at your apartment. Before he left, he told me to tell you goodbye and that you wouldn’t ask for help, but you needed it.”
I cringe because Victor and I are finally talking, and I don’t want this to stir things up before we’ve barely made progress.
“He was right. I mean I was pissed at first which is why I didn’t mention it before, but I thought about it, then got the same talk from my mom, so I figured he probably wasn’t talking out his ass.”
I laugh awkwardly, and he joins in.
“I’m sorry,” I say, though I’m not sure exactly what I’m apologizing for – for letting it get to a point where other people needed to step in? I should have been the one to talk to him about it.
“No, I am.” He plays with the tab of his beer can, pushing it to one side and then the other. “I’m sorry I left. When Christian was born, it felt like you guys didn’t need me. Even when he was here, Mom mostly doted on him. She took over and I let her. Then as he got older, I barely knew him. Didn’t know what he liked or needed, and he sensed that.”
We’re quiet and I can’t think of what to say. I didn’t know any of this. Hadn’t asked – always assumed it was purely selfishness that kept him away.
