Page 84 of Jilted Jock
She faced me. “You know, I’m not embarrassed that I’m an addict. I prefer not having it called out in public places, and there are about a million more tactful ways you could have handled that, but I am who I am. I’ve accepted it and all the things that come with it. The anxiety before I go out, trying to prepare myself for anything, the uncomfortable moments when your friends look to you to make sure it’s okay they order a beer in front of you, and then eventually they stop inviting you altogether because it’s just easier.” She held her hands out to her side. “This is my life, but it’s not all that I am. I thought you saw beyond that. I thought you sawme.”
I was gutted.
“I do. You’re all I see, sweetheart. I handled tonight all wrong. This is new territory for me. I don’t know what to do or say in any of these situations.”
All the anger in her face turned to sadness. A single tear fell, and she let me brush it away with my thumb, leaning into my hand for just a second.
“Mr. McCash.” A woman with a cell phone clutched in her hands approached. “The team is waiting for you.”
“I’m not coming.”
“Sir—”
“I said no, dammit.”
The woman hurried off and I felt like an arse. How many people was I gonna treat like shit in one night?
Adele sighed. “Go back inside, Finn.”
“Not without you.” I held my hand out.
She shook her head from side to side. “I have to go. I shouldn’t have come. We live in two different worlds.”
“Let me take you home,” I begged as she walked away.
My mind reeled and I didn’t know if I should stop her or let her go. Something about the broken resolve in her expression kept me rooted to the spot. Fuck.
I watched her get into a cab and disappear from sight. I was parked in the back lot so I went back inside and weaved through the crowd as fast as I could. Each step to my truck felt like an eternity. She was running away again.
“She’s pretty.” Cindy appeared in front of me and thanks to the crowd I couldn’t easily just blow past her. “Image suicide, though. You get that, right? Making a scene at an event like this?” She tsked.
“Not now, Cindy.” I stepped to the side and so did she.
“I’m just looking out for you.”
“Don’t do that. Don’t pretend like you want to make nice.”
“You can choose to believe it or not, but it’s true. I still care about you.”
“You only care about people and things that can do something for you.”
“Oh, come on, you’re making me out to be some sort of monster, but you and I were a team not so long ago. We wanted the same things.”
“Yeah, until we didn’t. I don’t remember wanting you to go behind my back with my teammate.”
“I’ve been trying to apologize for months, but you won’t listen.”
“Because I don’t need it. I don’t care what you have to say. It doesn’t matter. The guy you want to apologize to is gone. I’m not the same person anymore. You can make it up to me by never speaking to me again.” She had the audacity to look offended. “I’m serious. I know we’re going to run into one another, and I can do civil, but I want no part of us acting like it never happened and being friends or some bullshit.”
“That’s really what you want?”
“It’s one hundred percent what I want.”
I waited for confirmation that she understood, and this was the last god-awful time we were going to have this conversation. All I got was a nod, but it was acknowledgment enough. Any unresolved shit I had with her seemed like pebbles in my shoe by comparison to my need to find Adele.
“Well, that looked painful.” Foster cut me off as I tried to flee the room. Goddamn was there no escape?
“It was.”
