Page 114 of Secret Puck
I don’t see Ginny yet, so I head to the back where I find Brenda. She smiles when she spots me.
“How’s my favorite lunch lady?”
She snorts. Brenda is the no-nonsense lady who manages the dining hall. I won her over last year. It started with a lot of flattery. Much deserved flattery. She works hard to keep us fed and I appreciate that more than most people. Then I got to know her a little and found out she’s a huge hockey fan.
“Sam and the kids good?”
She softens at the mention of her husband and children. “Matty is graduating high school this year, and Sophia is all about boys, God help us all.”
She hands me a tray and quirks a brow. “Coach Meyers approve of this?”
“What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.” I wink. “Thanks, Brenda. I owe you.”
“Mhmm. How about paying me back with another win next weekend?” she calls as I walk off.
My steps are light as I head to my usual table. Ginny waits, looking around for me. When she spots me, a shy smile tips up the corners of her lips. Aaand, I’m suddenly really nervous.
“Hey,” she says tentatively. She looks as anxious as I feel.
I’d planned to say a lot of things, but fuck words. I drop the tray on the table, frame her face with both hands, and bring my lips to hers. She lets out a yelp of surprise, but then her body melts and she kisses me back. I’ve missed her so much. Not just this.Her.
I don’t want to stop kissing her, but the sound of people bustling around us going about their usual morning routines makes me pull back. That and I know there are things she needs to hear.
“I missed you so damn much, baby doll.”
“Same.”
“And I’m really sorry.”
“I know you are.”
I sit and guide her to take the seat beside me. “I want to explain, but I’m sure I’m going to say it all wrong.” I blow out a breath. The way she watches me, willing to hear me out even when I know I’ve hurt her, pushes me forward.
“The other night was six years of frustration coming out at once, but it shouldn’t have been you I was saying all that to. For a big part of my childhood, my mom used the words like a Band-Aid. Every time I took care of something for her—paid the bills or made dinner—the repayment I got was with a string of ‘I love yous.’ It changed how I felt about it. Her love felt like an excuse to not show up any other way.” I squeeze my eyes shut. “Trust me, I know that’s fucked up. I know she was grieving; I know she was depressed, but it didn’t change the fact that all I wanted was for my mom to act like everyone else’s. I didn’t wantI love you. I wanted her to take care of me.”
“Oh, Heath, I’m sorry.” She squeezes my hand. “I won’t pretend to understand what that must have been like. I’m certain that she loved you the best she could. That’s all anyone does. It isn’t perfect.”
“I know. Knowing it and accepting it aren’t the same.” My heart’s beating like a drum in my chest. “The thought of my feelings for you being tainted by the past… I hate it. I don’t want anything bad to ever touch you. You are my favorite person. You’re the only person I’d skip food for or that could convince me to eat Neapolitan ice cream or… a thousand other things. You. It’s only you. And when I walked in here, I fully intended to stand firm on my stance of never speaking the words, of keeping the best thing in my life away from my worst memories, but then I saw you and I realized that it doesn’t matter what it’s meant before. If loving you is wanting to spend every day with you, laughing and having fun, supporting you, and having your back, then I do. I love you, Ginny. Of course, I do.”
“Really?”
“Really, really. I love you. I love you. I freaking love you.”
She smiles and closes her eyes like she’s trying to savor the moment. When her brown eyes meet mine again, it’s such a punch to the gut I wonder how it took me so long to realize it.
“We don’t need to use the word. Not if it bothers you. I just want to know that you’re as crazy about me as I am you. That we’re in this together.”
“Did I mention I’d skip food for you?” Her lips part into a happy grin and my chest tightens. “One last thing.”
I hop up onto the table and clear my throat. “Genevieve Scott, will you be my girlfriend?”
People are staring and snickering. Ginny’s cheeks go red with embarrassment, but she nods. “Of course I will. I’d skip food for you too.”
I jump down and kiss her again, then pull back so my forehead rests against hers. “I had no idea it was ever unclear that you were my girlfriend. I’ve always thought of you as my girl. I’m sorry that I left any room for doubt, but I won’t make that mistake again. I’ll stand on this table and ask every day if you want me to.”
“I’ll consider that. Could be entertaining.” She laces her fingers with mine. “Speaking of food though, is that for me?” She tips her head to the bowl of ice cream.
I push the tray toward her, a huge bowl of Neapolitan ice cream topped with gummy bears.
