Page 38 of The Pass
“I liked them, and I wanted to spend more time together. And with Amelia there were times when I could picture us together after college, but never like…” He pulls back and shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Tell me.”
He hesitates before saying, “The only person I’ve ever really been able to picture in my life forever is you.”
My heart hammers in my chest and blood pounds in my ears.
“When I see my life in five years or fifty—I see it with you.”
“With me as your best friend or…?”
The car pulls up at Tanner’s and we climb out. I walk numbly behind him. Neither of us speaks until we’re inside.
“Water?” he asks, grabbing two from the fridge.
I take one, kick off my shoes, and we go sit outside on the deck.
It’s late. The moon is high in the sky and the lake is quiet. Tanner sits and then pulls me onto his lap. We’ve sat like this a million times. We’ve always been comfortable in our affection. Still, this feels different.
I’m deciding whether or not I should push for an answer to my question from the car when he starts talking again.
“I’ve gone over it a million different times. Wondering what would happen if I kissed you. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve woke up with the most vivid sex dreams recreating that first night together.”
“And?” My voice wavers. I’m so nervous. I’m never nervous around Tanner.
“All I know is that I want everything to be exactly the same.”
My heart drops. I didn’t realize how much I was hoping he wanted more until now. Then his hand lifts my chin up and slides down so he’s caressing my neck. “Except I want to own your body like you own my heart.”
He’s still, blue eyes darkening and waiting for a response. For the second time, I make the move. This time, though, he’s in control from the second my lips land on his. Tanner makes a gruff noise deep in his throat. His tongue sweeps into my mouth and the hand at my neck holds me in place as he kisses me deeply and passionately.
An ache, so deep and constant I’m not sure it can ever be soothed, throbs inside of me. I shift so that I’m straddling him. My skirt inches up on my thighs leaving nothing but the lacy material of my panties to rub against his jeans. We both groan and our kisses become frenzied and manic. I might be on top, but he has total command.
I’ve always loved Tanner’s hands, but never more than when they’re holding me in place. One at my neck, the other at my waist, his touch is gentle enough not to hurt but strong enough to distinguish this from the millions of other touches we’ve shared before now.
I grind into his hard erection. His hips roll underneath me, and my head falls back. He leaves hot, warm open-mouth kisses along my collarbone and neck.
He mumbles something but the words are lost to the sensation. More. One word that sums up my current existence. I want more—need it, now and from him.
“Babe?”
“Hmm?”
“I said, I want to take you out. Do this right.”
“Dating is for getting to know one another. We already know each other every way but one. Let’s get naked.” I climb up higher so that I’m basically fucking him through his jeans and push my breasts into his face.
His big hands come to my waist and hold me still. His dick twitches between us and I can see the knit of frustration on his face as he holds back. “I want a do-over. All the things I should have done the first time. Real dates where you dress up for me and I tell you how beautiful you are. I want to woo the fuck out of you.” He lifts me off his crotch and sets me on a less bulge-y and far less fun part of his lap.
“Woo me while you fuck me.”
He smiles that cocky smirk that tells me he’s made up his mind no matter how much his body tells me otherwise. “That too, but first, I owe you five dates.”
13
Tanner
I totally forgotabout Datson coming up today when I decided to cockblock myself and take sex off the table until after I’ve taken Sydney on five dates. I woke up to my buddy pounding on the front door at noon ready to get out on the lake which puts a wrench in my plan for date number one.
