Page 68 of Slapshot
Coach is at a loss for words after the first period. Turns out, he’s even scarier when he’s quiet. I should be dissecting my abysmal performance, but I know why I suck. I slept like crap and I’m distracted.
At the first opportunity, I try again to talk to Kaitlyn.
“Hey, uh, can you change the lace on my right skate?” It’s a bogus request, but it does the trick. She nods and I take a seat in a free chair next to her.
We have just a few minutes before the second period starts and zero privacy, but I need something.
“Are you okay?” I whisper.
“Fine.” She doesn’t even look me in the eye. Though to be fair, I asked her to change my lace, and that’s what she’s focusing on.
“Kait.” I grab her wrist. She freezes, but still stares down. “I don’t understand why you’re freezing me out. Talk to me.”
She moves her hand and finishes the job. “How’s that feel?”
“Skate feels fine, but I feel like shit. Please, tell me what you’re thinking?”
“Vonne,” Coach Keller says only my name, but the request is clear.Stop focusing on your girlfriend and get out there.
I can’t budge though. She’s hurting and I want to help.
“I’d never work for your dad without talking to you about it first. I didn’t know what to say. He kind of put me on the spot.”
Those beautiful blue eyes finally land on me, but they hold no warmth. “It’s a great opportunity. Did he give you his card? He did, right? You’re as good as in. You’ll probably meet a lot of really important people in the hockey world too. You’d be an idiot to turn it down.” She stands and moves to the back of the bench, picking up a few water bottles that were tossed to the ground.
“I don’t care about that.” I move in front of her so that she has to face me and grab her hand. I need to touch her. Kaitlyn needs touch. She reacts to bold gestures and unrelenting determination. Not because she’s high maintenance, but because she’s been disappointed too many times. Polite doesn’t cut it with her.
“You should care. You’re a great hockey player, but connections are everything.”
“And I appreciate that he offered, but I can do this on my own.” The buzzer sounds. “Can we talk after the game? Let me take you to dinner when we get back to Burlington.”
“Sure. We’ll see.”
“Kait—”
“Roddy,” Coach Keller barks. “Take Vonne’s spot on the second line since he can’t be bothered to warm up with the rest of the team.”
Fuck.
I know I deserve it, even should have expected it, but my stomach drops and I feel like I might throw up. My chance. I finally got my chance and I just blew it.
There’s a flash of concern in Kaitlyn’s eyes as she says, “Please go. We both have people counting on us right now. We’ll talk later.”
* * *
I don’t see any playing time for the rest of the game. We lose by one after a strong third period by Mass. Ask me if I care. No, that’s not even true. I care. I really, really do. Later I know I’ll be punching myself, but I can’t see past my need to talk to Kaitlyn. It was a misunderstanding. I froze, and yeah, maybe there was a few seconds where I wondered what it might be like to take the job.
Paxton corners me in the locker room. “What the hell, man?”
“Not now, Pax.” I’m already half-undressed so I can get the hell out of here and catch her before the bus ride back.
He puts a hand on my shoulder to keep me from moving. “What was that today? You get an opportunity that you’ve been working for and you just blow it?”
“It was a long night. Kaitlyn—”
“Nah, I don’t care why. You busted your ass for today.Ibusted my ass. Late nights, weekends… Nothing else should have mattered. You let yourself down, but you let the team down, too.”
No one else talks to me, and that’s probably for the best. Pax’s disappointment speaks volumes. And he’s right. He put in a lot of extra time to help me out. The weight of my screwup is starting to sink in. I may not get another chance to prove myself.
