Page 74 of Slapshot
“Have you guys seen this shit? It’s wild,” I say with a slight head nod of a greeting.
“Uhh, yeah, we watched it like right after it released,” Ash says.
“I thought the whole world did. You never watched it?” Jonah asks.
“Uh-uh.” I wave a hand toward the kitchen. “I made chili and cornbread if anyone wants some.”
“Ooooh yes,” Ash says, and they all hurry to the kitchen.
A minute later, Patrick calls, “Uh, Lex?”
“Yeah?”
“There isn’t anything left, rookie.”
They march back into the living room carrying the empty cornbread tin.
“Oh, right.” I pat my stomach. “It was good, sorry. There’s some cheesecake in there, though. Maggie brought it over.”
“You mean this cheesecake?” Pax flips open the top of the box and tips it so I can see the mangled sliver of cake left.
I shrug.
“O-kay.” Ash stands in front of the TV. “I think it’s intervention time.”
“Fuck off. I’m fine. You guys take days off all the time.”
“You don’t though,” Pax points out.
I sit up. “Yeah, well, maybe I should have. Hockey isn’t everything, right?”
“Oh shit, he’s gone real dark. It’s worse than I thought.” Ash’s eyes go wide with concern.
“I’m fine,” I grumble and head out of the room away from their pity. My stomach gurgles in protest as I take the stairs. Admittedly, I may have eaten too much.
I lay in my bed and close my eyes. My sheets still faintly smell of Kaitlyn. She hasn’t called. Neither have I, to be fair. I can’t keep chasing after someone who doesn’t want to be caught. I know she’s slow to trust, but at some point, I have to accept that it’s never going to be enough. She has to want to trust me, and I don’t think she does.
All my life I thought hard work was the answer to everything. I was wrong. No matter how hard I try with Kaitlyn, I’m never going to earn her trust. What if effort only makes up a small percentage of luck? I’ll have spent my entire life busting my ass trying to have things I’ll never get.
Monday, I call in sick. I don’t really call anyone. I email my professors to let them know I won’t be in class and then I walk downtown. Burlington is a cool city. There are so many quirky, fun places—many I’ve never been in.
I decide to take the day and see them all. Maybe I have been too focused on hockey and pushing myself.
I walk by the maple store, which smells heavenly, but my stomach is still queasy from taking down an entire cheesecake yesterday. The pizza place isn’t open yet and I avoid the Biscuit in case any of the guys come by for lunch.
I’m about to turn around and go home, maybe binge another TV show, when I see the sign for Vino and Veritas. I hang a right and go into the bookstore. Among the shelves of books, people of all ages peruse the spines. I’m looking for nothing in particular, but also feeling like I’m looking for something, too.
I get to the magazine section and automatically go for the first sports one I see, then grab the one next to it instead. Taking it to the one empty chair, I flip through the pages of a woodworking magazine. Then I trade it out for one on fishing. Maybe I could be into fishing. Can you make that a career?
A little girl toddles in front of me. She puts her little hand on my leg, drool sits in a pool on her bottom lip.
“Uhh, hi,” I say and glance around for her owner. She must have walked away from her parents. “Where’s your mommy?”
She grins and the drool from her lip drips down onto my leg.
I sit up and do another sweep of the place to locate someone who’s missing a child. She crawls up into the chair with me and I have little chance to do anything but scoot over and make room for her.
“Book!” Her chubby hand points to the magazine in my hand. She sits upright waiting patiently like she expects me to read it to her.
