Page 80 of Slapshot
“I heard you quit.” My voice is still rough with sleep and my tone snaps conveying every bit of anger I’m feeling.
“Coach Garfunkle said it would be a few days until you guys got another equipment manager.” The guilt on her face and the way she avoids eye contact says everything she won’t.
“You don’t need to quit, Kait,” I say and stand, moving toward her. I lift my hand to touch her and then think better of it.
She notices. Walking past me, Kaitlyn peels off her coat and drapes it, along with her scarf, on the back of a chair. “It’s for the best.”
“For who?”
She finally meets my gaze. Her blue eyes shine with pain. “Everyone.”
“You can’t really believe that. I know how much you loved working for the team. Even when you didn’t want to.”
“I cost the team their perfect record and I interfered with what should have been your big opportunity to step up. I could never forgive myself if I ruined things for you. I know how hard you’ve worked and what it means to you. There could have been serious repercussions for the drama I caused. So, yes, I absolutely believe it’s best that you have an equipment manager that can do the job without adding any personal drama. My quitting makes it less complicated for you.”
“I don’t care.” Exasperated and annoyed, I clench my hands. She’s martyring herself. It’s so twisted and so completely in character that I can’t believe I didn’t expect it.
“You do. I know that you do. You’re right, I have loved being the team’s manager. Hockey is a part of me I thought I’d lost. I have that back, largely thanks to you. I am so grateful, but I also know that there are other people better suited for the job. Let’s be honest, I got the job because I’m Declan Dalager’s daughter.”
My stomach drops. I hate that she always thinks she’s second best to her dad. “Maybe that’s how you got the job, but you’re good at it. Youarethe best person for the job.”
I can tell in the set of her shoulders that nothing I say is going to change her mind. She’s so goddamn stubborn.
“Anyway, I’m glad you’re here,” she says softly. “I wanted to apologize for Saturday. I was mad, but I didn’t hook up with Emmett.” Her gaze drops to the floor. “I won’t blame you if you can’t believe me when I say nothing happened. I deserve that.”
It strikes me in her tone that she isn’t about to fight for me. She’s saying goodbye. Even though I walked away Saturday night, I guess I still hoped she was going to realize she wanted to be with me regardless of all the bullshit.
“I could never hurt you intentionally. Not even to protect myself. I realized earlier that might be how you feel too. I know you wouldn’t take the job at Dalager if it would hurt me.”
“Never.”
“And that’s why you should take the job. After everything you’ve done for me, I don’t want to stand in the way of anything that makes getting what you want easier. I mean it. I talked to my dad tonight and made sure the offer was still good. It’d be a great opportunity and you should definitely take it. Please don’t let the things I said hold you back. You can save for next year’s rent while staying close to school and still working out with the team.”
She still doesn’t get it. Time and again I’ve tried to show her that she’s more important and she just refuses to believe it or simply can’t. Yeah, before I met Kaitlyn, hockey was my entire life. She changed that. She changed me. “I don’t care about the job. God, you’re so exasperating. When are you going to get it through your head? I want you. The rest is bullshit.”
“Lex—”
“No, I’m done trying to prove myself to you. I’m done believing that if I just try a little harder, I can make you see how crazy I am about you. At some point, I’ve done everything I can and it’s on you. You have to fight back for what you want. Whatever that is. Decide what’s worth it and what isn’t but stop running away and pretending you don’t care what happens. Take some goddamn responsibility.”
I fling the door open before she can say a word and march out of the locker room. The walk back to the house in the cold does absolutely nothing to cool my temper. I slam the back door shut behind me.
“Welcome home, sunshine,” Ash says from the dining room table with an amused smirk.
I blow out a breath as I pace. I’m shaking.
“Everything okay?”
“I yelled at her,” I say and wipe my palms on my thighs. “Holy shit, I actually yelled at her.”
Ash chuckles. “Good.”
“Good? In what world is that good?” I growl. “She makes me insane.”
“You’ve been more than patient with her. No one can fault you for not trying.”
“I’m done. I give up. Nothing I do will be good enough.”
“Do you know how to give up?”
