Page 110 of Bad Crush
“It’s okay. I feel like maybe I’ve finally made peace with it. Or I’m working on it.” She rubs her upper arms and shrugs. “She is who she is, and I have to accept that.”
“You shouldn’t have to accept that. You deserve so much better.”
She nods. Her brown eyes are haunted, and I want nothing more than to chase away the ghosts of her past.
“Can I come in? We could watch TV, talk some more. I just want to be near you. I’ve missed you so damn much. I got the scholarship, and all I could think about was calling you up and telling you.”
“You did?” She sounds as shocked as I felt.
“Yeah. Thanks to you. I appreciate what you did. All of it.”
“I should have done it sooner. I’m sorry that I almost cost you the scholarship. I bet Janine’s bummed.”
“Actually, it sounds like they found another scholarship for her too.”
“Congratulations. That’s amazing. Truly. I’m really happy for both of you.”
“We could celebrate. I think I’ve got a bottle of red.” I jab a thumb back toward my apartment. Standing here talking to her is the best I’ve felt all week, and I don’t want to leave.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. It’s late.”
“Okay. Can I see you tomorrow? This weekend?”
“The play is this weekend, so I’m going to be pretty busy. Even though I lost my part.”
“I heard. I’m sorry.”
“I still have to be there. The show must go on and all that.”
“Well, how about next week? You name the time and place.” I consider throwing in next month, but she looks like a startled horse about to bolt.
“I need you and me to be okay. Just about the worst thing I can imagine is the two of us not being able to be in the same room together. You mean too much to me. You, Dakota, Ginny, the guys—you’re my family, and I can’t risk losing the only family I have left.”
“Never. You have us. Always. That doesn’t change whether or not we’re together.”
“Doesn’t it, though? This is the first time we’ve spoken in days.” She shakes her head. “I should go. It’s late. It was really good to see you, Adam.”
My fingers itch to touch her, pull her to me, kiss her, but instead, I back away, slowly watching until she shuts the door.
With a sigh, I head back inside. I sink onto the couch. Ginny’s in the kitchen getting a glass of water.
“Hey,” she says, voice deep from sleep. “Where’ve you been?”
“Outside talking to Reagan.”
“Yeah?” Ginny looks hopeful.
“I don’t know what to do. I miss her, and I want to be with her, but maybe it just isn’t meant to be.”
“Why do you say that?”
“I always thought when I found the right girl, I’d just know. That things would click into place. That it would be easy. Mom and Dad always made it look that way.” I realize what I’ve said and add, “And look how well that worked out. Fuck. I don’t know.”
“You’re a guy who likes facts and certainties. I get that. I can’t tell you if it’s right or not with Reagan, but I know that this is the first time you’ve ever acted like you cared when a relationship ended.”
“That’s because I didn’t want it to end.”
“No?” Ginny’s brows pinch together. “Then why did it?”
