Page 111 of Bad Crush
“Reagan said she could read it on my face—that we were done, and we weren’t meant to be or whatever. That she was tired of waiting for the other shoe to drop.” I rough a hand through my hair. “I hesitated. I thought maybe she was right.”
“But you don’t think that now?”
“I can’t stop thinking about her.”
Ginny looks at me with big, sappy eyes.
“I don’t want to lose Reagan because I gave up too soon, but I know that she’s been hurt, and I can’t add to that—even unintentionally. What if I’m wrong?”
“You could start by telling her all that.”
“I did.” I think back. “Okay, I didn’t use those words.”
Ginny rolls her eyes. “Try using the words you mean, bro.”
I chuckle. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
“Also, if you’re going to win her back, you should do it not reeking of alcohol or wearing jeans with a wet crotch.”
I glance down. My boxers were still damp when I pulled on my pants, and sure enough, there are weird wet spots all over the front. Fuck me.
“Go to bed,” Ginny says. “We’ll figure it out in the morning.”
32
Reagan
I walkto campus and head to University Hall. Janine’s waiting for me at one of the tables.
I drop into a chair across from her, and she slides a cup across the table. “Light cream, half sugar.”
“Thank you.” I wrap my hands around it but don’t drink. “And thanks for meeting me here. I wasn’t sure you’d show.”
“Figured it must be important. You haven’t called me in years.”
I nod. “I wanted to apologize for the way I’ve acted.”
“No, Reagan, you don’t need to apologize. When I found out that Lori was coming to the banquet, I should have told my parents to turn the car around. I know how crazy she’s made your life.”
“She wouldn’t have listened.”
“My mom told me she’s leaving. I’m sorry. I really thought this time was different.”
“You couldn’t have known.” I shake my head. “What I wanted to apologize for is avoiding you these past few years.”
“Oh.” Janine leans forward, and a hint of a smile spreads on her face. “Go on.”
“When we got to Valley, I was so eager to start fresh. You were a reminder of the past. You knew all the awful, embarrassing things that I wanted to forget. I felt like I couldn’t really have a new life as long as anyone around me knew about my messed up childhood.”
“I get it.” Her smile is small and sad.
“You were always great to me. I don’t know where I would be today without you or your family.”
“Something tells me you would have done okay on your own. Just like you’ve done these past three years.”
I think about Dakota, Ginny, the guys. I’ve never been on my own. Not really, but I appreciate her words.
“You deserve to be happy, Rea. It’s all I ever wanted and if being friends with me complicates that, I get it.”
