Page 50 of Bad Crush
I’m still awake when they get back. Our apartments aren’t exactly great at blocking outside noise, plus let’s be honest, I’m listening for him. I give it five minutes, and then I text him,Can I come over?
While I wait for his response, I think back on the night. I can’t shake this uneasy feeling that something isn’t right even though he hasn’t really done anything wrong.
His response chases away some of my doubts,Absolutely.
The living room is dark as I enter. Adam’s bedroom door is open. He’s changed into sweatpants and is pulling a T-shirt over his head.
“Hey.” He smiles when he sees me.
I linger in the doorway as he gets ready for bed. It isn’t until he’s pulling back the sheets that he realizes I haven’t moved.
“Everything okay?” he asks.
“I’m not sure. I have this weird feeling like I did something wrong?”
“What?” His expression tells me I clearly caught him off guard. “Why would you think that?”
“It’s just that I barely saw you all night. I was hoping we’d be able to hang out. I realize how ridiculous that sounds, but I know you. I know how you are when you’re dating someone you really like.”
“Reagan,” he starts.
I wave a hand in front of my face, embarrassment making me flustered. “No, I think I’m going to go. This was a bad idea. It’s been a long week, and you have a game tomorrow. We can talk about this later. Everything is great. 'Night, Adam.”
He’s in front of me, blocking my exit before I get to the front door.
“I don’t think so,” he says, and picks me up and carries me back to his bedroom. “We’ll talk about this now.”
15
Adam
Well,clearly, I’m an idiot, and Rhett was right. Not that I’ll ever admit that to him.
As I set Reagan down on my bed, she looks like she’s either going to burst into tears or claw my eyes out. I’m hoping for the latter. I do not think I can survive a crying Reagan.
“I don’t want this to be like every other time,” I say.
“Does that mean you want to date other people?” Her tone is fragile but hard as nails. I don’t know how she manages to be vulnerable and badass at the same time, but it’s hot.
And wait, what? Date other people? The fuck?
“No, it sure as shit doesn’t mean that.”
“Oh.” Her lips form the sound and stay that way while she processes my words. She’s probably thinking I’m a moron. Welcome to the club.
“I was working with a theory tonight that if I did the opposite of what I wanted, maybe I wouldn’t screw this up. I need to take this slow. We’ve been hanging out every second, and it’s been amazing, but I want to do things right this time. I should have just told you what was going on, but this is new territory for me.”
What I don’t say is I really like her. A lot. This week has been awesome. When this started, I didn’t give my past much thought. I was so excited to spend more time with her and explore this thing between us. But now that I’m starting to develop real feelings for her, I have to wonder if I’m leading us down a path that ends like all my other relationships.
“You ignored me because you like me?”
“Yeah, next I’ll be kicking your shins and pulling your hair.” I hang my head for a second, trying to get my shit together. Doubting myself is new. I don’t like it.
“That last one doesn’t sound so bad.”
I look up as she swallows, and her gaze drops to my chest.
That look—the one of desire as she checks me out, I can work with that. In here, we make sense. This is uncomplicated. It’s everywhere else that I haven’t quite figured out. How do I date her without falling into the same old cycle?
