Page 99 of Bad Crush
I laugh. He must be joking. I was expecting a lecture, but not this.
“You missed yesterday, you were late this afternoon, and the scenes you did get in today were off.”
Swallowing my pride, I acknowledge that he’s right. I cleared missing last night’s rehearsal for the banquet, but it’s obvious he’s still holding it against me. “I’m sorry. I have had a lot going on this week, but I will be ready tomorrow. I promise.”
“We don’t have time for you to work through personal issues. The performance is in six days. I need your best now.”
“I know, and I’m ready. Iwill beready. Please?”
His mouth falls into a thin line. “I’m sorry. I think this is the best thing for the entire group.”
He dismisses us with a nod and walks off.
Mila looks as if she might pass out.
“I’m so sorry,” she says immediately.
My legs tremble, and my chest aches. I must have cried too much in the past twenty-four hours because I can’t get past my shock to feel the really awful, soul-shattering pain I know is coming.
“I can try to talk to him,” she offers.
“No,” I say quickly. “He won’t change his mind.”
I pull at the collar of my costume dress. It has a high neck with lace trim that irritates my skin.
“Congratulations.” I hope I’m smiling, but my face feels numb. “There’s always next year, right?” My already broken heart smashes into a few more pieces.
I take my time going back to the apartment. I know that Dakota will want to talk to me and tell me everything is going to be okay, but I’m not ready to face her. Or Ginny. Except when I get to the apartment complex, there are very few cars in the lot, and the silence continues up to our apartment. It isn’t until I’m inside that I remember there’s a hockey game tonight. Everyone is there. Most of Valley. All my friends. Adam.
I drop onto the couch and turn on the TV, staring blankly. WhenI Love Lucypops onto the screen, I burst into tears.
No play, no friends, and no Adam. It’s just Lucy and me again.
29
Adam
After the game,the guys are in good spirits. It was a low-scoring game, but we were victorious, continuing our winning streak.
“Can I catch a ride to the bar?” Rhett asks.
He could easily go with someone else. Half the team is going to The Hideout to hang for a few hours. We have another game tomorrow afternoon, so most of us will call it an early night. There are a few guys on the team that can manage to party hard the night before a game and still function. Okay, not a few—there’s Mav. Anyone else who tries to keep up with him tonight will be sitting their ass on the bench tomorrow or puking out their guts between periods.
“Sure, whatever. I’m not staying out long.”
“You always say that, and yet you never leave until you make sure everyone else is headed home and safe.” He smirks.
“Not tonight.”
My head hurts. No, scratch that. My whole body hurts. Ever since last night when Reagan lashed out, kicked my fucking chest in, I feel like I can’t breathe. She was waiting for me to screw up, for us to end, just like all my other relationships. I guess I can’t blame her, but damn, I didn’t realize she’d been holding on to it. Or that she thought so little of me. Why would she want to be with me at all if she really believed that?
Then I remember, she doesn’t want to be with me anymore, so I guess that makes sense.
It still feels like a dream. What the hell happened? I mean, okay, I know what happened, but I don’t understand why all of a sudden everything between us means nothing? I don’t know whether or not to fight for her or back off. She’s always got me second-guessing myself, and I really hate that.
That prickling sensation and nausea hit me hard. I fight it, wish it away, but it builds and builds. It’s always been the same. Every relationship gets to this point where I feel sick to my stomach. Usually, it’s because I’ve realized it won’t work, but now… I’m just gutted.
I scan the bar as we enter. Ginny and a few other girlfriends of guys on the team are seated at our usual table. No Reagan. That awful feeling takes over, and I can no longer push it away, thinking that maybe it was just a stupid fight and we both needed time to cool off. Nah. It’s really over. Feels like it’s done before it ever really started. So many things I still want to do with her.
