Page 8 of Bad Crush
“Oh, uh…” Reagan looks to me.
“I think we’re going to pass tonight,” I say and squeeze Reagan’s leg.
They prepare to leave, and Winona and Sage take turns hugging Reagan.
“You two are so cute together,” Sage says. She’s trying to say it so that only Reagan can hear, but her drunk whisper isn’t quiet at all.
“The cutest, right?” Reagan says. She waves as they go back through the apartment to leave.
When it’s just the two of us left outside, Reagan lets out a long breath and slumps back into her chair, giggling. “Wow.”
“Thank you for that. Standing ovation-worthy performance.” The few stragglers that haven’t left or gone to bed are inside in front of the TV watching Rhett and Heath battle it out on the Xbox.
“You’re welcome.”
She’s stopped acting now, and I can feel her growing more distant.
“I had a really good time tonight. I’m sorry if it was weird for you. I really didn’t expect that to be an all-night performance.”
“No, it’s fine. I had a good time too.” The wind blows her hair into her face and she brushes the strands back. “Can I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
“Why were you avoiding the girls so hard tonight? You and Taryn broke up months ago and as far as I know you haven’t dated anyone since.”
“Except you now.” I tip my beer toward her and then take a drink.
“You know what I mean. A real date and hookups don’t count. Those girls were pretty nice. Are you still hung up on Taryn?”
“Are you politely asking me why I haven’t jumped into another relationship already? Because the guys have been giving me shit. No need to tiptoe over my feelings. I know I have a reputation for going from one girlfriend to the next.”
“It’s more than a reputation. You haven’t gone more than a few weeks without a girlfriend in all the time I’ve known you.”
I hesitate, nodding. I don’t know if that’s true, I’ve never really tracked it, but it’s not far off.
“It’s okay if you’re not over Taryn. She was great. We all liked her a lot.”
“She was.” My last girlfriend was someone I thought I could picture a future with, but when she transferred schools at semester, we both decided it’d be easier to cut ties instead of trying to make it work long-distance. I’m a romantic, but I’m also realistic. I like spending time with my girlfriends too much to be happy with a weekend here and there. “It isn’t Taryn. I’m trying to take some time, be single. Plus, with this being my last year playing hockey, I really want to see it through and focus my energy there.”
“Makes sense.”
“Also, don’t tell the guys I know, but they have a bet going on how long before I’m with someone new.”
“Oh, I know,” she says. “Heath’s out. He had one week.”
“I guess between my buddies betting on me and the shit with my parents, it seemed like a good time to break my usual cycle.” I still get an ache in my chest when I think about my parents splitting up. They completely blindsided me. I thought they were crazy in love, even after all these years. Ginny thinks I’m taking it too personally, but it is personal. Everything I believe about love and relationships was based on watching them. They were so happy. Or so I thought.
“But what if you found someone you wanted to be with? Would bad timing stop you?”
“No, I doubt I’d let anything stop me.” The trouble is, I’m not sure if I trust my own instincts. I never get into a relationship expecting it to fail. Yet, they always do. It starts out fantastic and then a month, or six later, and suddenly everything just feels… wrong.
“Adam, I need to tell you something.” Reagan angles her body toward me. Her eyes fall to her hands. She looks so serious all of a sudden.
“What is it?”
Seconds pass, my heart rate accelerates in anticipation.
“I…” she starts and then stands quickly. “It’s nothing. I should go. See you later.”
