Page 118 of Broken Hearts
“Fine. Okay. What else do I have going on tonight?”
“That’s the spirit,” she says with a laugh.
* * *
Over the next week,things get easier. I miss Rhett something fierce but I keep busy with classes and Dakota’s new obsession of turning me into a yoga influencer. I cringe every time she says the word influencer.
We film videos, take photos in the studio and all around campus. I have to say, even if I never get the courage to post any of it, it was worth all the time and energy in distracting me.
“Let’s go out tonight,” Dakota says Thursday afternoon.
We’re video chatting as I walk back to my dorm from classes.
“I can tell by that look on your face you were planning to stay in and sulk.”
“I’m not sulking. I just don’t feel like being overly happy.”
She laughs at me. “Noted. I will make sure you only have a decent time then. Nothing too fun.”
“Okay. I’m in. I’m going to ask Josie and Olivia, too.” They’ve also been pestering me about going out so I can please everyone at once.
“Cool. I’ll see if I can pry Reagan and Ginny away from their men.”
We meet up at Dakota and Reagan’s apartment. They’ve bought enough wine and mixed drinks to keep the whole group of us drunk for a week, and Dakota has dance music pumping in their living room.
“We have sparkling water, Gatorade, and Diet Coke,” Reagan says as I enter the kitchen to survey the drink options.
“Thank you.”
She shakes her ass as she walks away, cup in hand. “Meet you on the dance floor.”
For almost an hour that’s exactly where we stay. We have a dance party in the middle of their living room, belting out every lyric and jumping around. It feels good to get lost in the music and the moment with my friends.
We move outside to take a break. Josie sits beside me and rests her head on my shoulder. “I can’t believe you’re graduating and leaving me all alone.”
“Hey!” Olivia nudges her from the other side.
“We should throw a party to celebrate,” Josie says, sitting tall. “We could do it at Kate’s house.”
“You guys don’t need to do that. This is perfect. Just my girls.”
“We’ll be there too,” she says. “And maybe some hockey boys.”
“They tend to follow these two around,” Dakota says and points to Ginny and Reagan.
“Please??” Josie asks. “It’ll be so fun. Let us send you off with a proper goodbye.” She kisses the air.
I smile. “Sure. That sounds great. Thank you.”
But my chest aches when I realize the only hockey boy I want won’t be there.
The next morning, I wake up early. My body refuses to accept that I no longer need to be up and at practice in the mornings. So, I get dressed and head there anyway.
I warm up and then fall into my old routine. It’s weird to think that there will be no more new programs. I’m not sad about giving up competing or shows. I could do both of those things if I really wanted. And I know I’ll still skate. I’ll make time for it because I love it. But this… just being on the ice with nowhere else to be. I will miss it being such a big part of my daily routine.
The lights are still dimmed and I’m the only person here. With both the hockey teams and our season being done, I can finally have a little bit of that solitude on the ice I’ve been wanting all semester long.
Admittedly, it isn’t as great as I thought it would be. I was used to keeping people at arm’s length before Rhett. I used a lot of things as an excuse. Needing to skate, my heart condition, and probably a million other things, but he changed me. I don’t think I can ever go back to believing that I’m better off on my own.
