Page 35 of Broken Hearts
“Which would be great if you were interviewing for skating jobs.” She gives me the look—the one that says she disapproves of me giving up skating after college.
The thing is, very few people make it as a professional skater like Elias and Taylor. Far more take jobs with ice dancing shows. Those are great. Josie works for one every summer and plans to do it after she graduates next year, but those shows are high-performance. There are flashing lights and loud music and all sorts of drama and flair. That’s what makes them super fun and exciting for an audience, and also dangerous for me. Even if my doctor signed off, most companies wouldn’t hire me, knowing the risk.
If I just came right out and told Josie that, she’d stop giving me that look. I guess I don’t want her to. Some part of me wants to let her believe I’m capable of that. Half the battle with my heart condition is keeping people from feeling sorry for me or treating me differently.
And, I’m okay with skating being a hobby from here on out. I love it, but I accept that it’s not my destiny. The problem is nothing else interests me enough to be excited about doing it for the rest of my life. I like my business classes, and I’m sure once I settle into a job, everything will be fine. It just seems like everyone else is so excited about their plans after graduation, and I feel very meh.
I reach for one of the positives. “They have a really great fitness studio with yoga classes.”
“The selling point is yoga?” She laughs. “You can do yoga anywhere.”
“Thanks for ruining the selling point.”
She sits on her bed. “Well, what are the other selling points then? Outside of yoga.”
“It’s close to my family, the health benefits are excellent, 401k match, and I know it’s a great company that’s treated my dad well. I just thought I’d feel more excited.”
“I don’t know if anyone takes an entry-level job thinking it feels great. You can work up to a better position, though. It takes time.”
I don’t point out that she’s ecstatic every summer when she heads off for her job. Last year she was performing on a cruise ship, though, so her job definitely has more selling points than the one I was just offered.
“Thanks, Dad.” I stick out my tongue at her. “That’s exactly what he said when he recommended me for the job.”
“Are you going to take it?”
“I don’t know.” I fall onto her bed and slump over so my head is in her lap. “I don’t think I’m cut out for the real world. Maybe I’ll get a bunch more degrees. What is women’s studies anyway?”
She snorts and runs a hand over my hair. “You’ll figure it out, and you’ll be great at whatever you do.”
My phone rings in my backpack.
“What’s your weakness?” Josie asks as I get up to retrieve it. That’ll be my family ready to Zoom.
I grin. “Limited experience.”
She rolls her eyes. “That’s everyone interviewing for their first job.”
“I know, right? It’s the perfect bullshit answer to a bullshit question.”
11
Sienna
“Hi!” I answer my phone and wave at the screen while Josie goes back to drawing at her desk. My parents are crammed together on our living room couch.
A second later, Mom moves the phone to show me Allison sitting in the armchair across from them.
“Congrats, Al.” She plays on her high school junior varsity team, but got bumped to play varsity for the first time because one of their star players got injured.
“Thanks,” she says, trying to play it cool. She breaks seconds later. “It was so awesome, Sie. They turned all the lights down, and the music was so loud that the announcer had to yell our names. I’ve never felt more important in my entire life.”
She keeps rambling about her hockey game last night.
“Mom sent me the video,” I say, when she takes a breath. “The only person yelling louder than that announcer was Dad.”
She snorts. “Mom threatened to sit across the rink next time.”
“I’m going to at least need to invest in earplugs,” Mom says. She’s smiling though and just as proud of Allison.
