Page 112 of Broken Hearts
“Good. We decided to give dating a shot.”
I stop. “Dating?”
“Yeah, it isn’t a big deal. We figured the only way to keep things from being weird was just to date, give in to the chemistry.”
I laugh. The first time I’ve really, truly genuinely laughed in a week. So hard I can’t stop for a full minute.
“I’m sorry,” I say, clutching my stomach. “I don’t mean to laugh. Do you really think this is the less weird route?”
He flashes a sheepish grin. “Probably not, but she kisses like a damn goddess about to be struck down by Zeus.”
“Is that good?”
“It’s…” He holds his hands together in front of his face. “So good.”
“I’m happy for you then.”
“It’ll be good while it lasts,” he says with forced lightness in his tone. I hope for his sake that it ends as casually as it started. He’s so close to reaching his gold-medal dreams.
“So…” He starts. “What’s the plan? You’re going to just show up at Rhett’s house and then what?”
“I don’t know,” I admit. “I just need to tell him to his face that I love him. Maybe he already knows, but until I’ve said the words out loud I’m going to feel like I didn’t do everything I could.”
“Youstillhaven’t told him?”
“You’redatingyour partner?”
He flashes a sheepish grin.
“It probably won’t matter. He loves me and that wasn’t enough. I think he wants to protect me.”
“From?”
“Mybrokenheart.”
“Did he say that?” Elias looks pissed at the prospect.
“No, not exactly, but he said that the last thing he wanted to do was hurt me or bring more stress into my life.”
He gives me a small smile.
“I guess I can’t blame him for thinking I can’t handle it considering I nearly fainted when we found out Carrie had died.” I hate so much that he has any question that I’m capable of being there for him. And I hate even more that I let him down when he needed me most.
“Honey, you’re not broken. He knows that. Or he should. Don’t even try to play the woe-is-me card. You’re the strongest person I know. You’re a motherfucking badass. He said it for the same reason you haven’t told him you love him.”
“I just haven’t found the right time. Sorry your ex-girlfriend died, but hey, consolation prize, I love you.”
“You’re no one’s consolation prize.”
“I know.” I sigh. “And I know he doesn’t think that. But what if…” I place my hand over my heart.
“What if he can’t deal with being with someone who could drop dead at any minute?”
“It is a lot. Especially now.”
“We’re all ticking time bombs. You’re scared. He’s scared. Life is fucking scary.”
“People don’t like to be reminded of their mortality.”
