Page 122 of Broken Hearts
I glance at my mom and dad. “Yes, sir.”
He hugs me. I think it’s the first in all the time I’ve known him that he’s ever embraced me. It’s not his style, or mine, but something tells me he isn’t hugging me right now. He’s hugging the closest thing to his kid he’s got left. So I hug him back and then I go inside and pack my bags.
36
Rhett
The early afternoon sun soaks up the dew on the grass and birds chirp in the distance. The soil underneath my feet is still new and the grass hasn’t had a chance to grow yet.
“I thought I’d know what to say by now,” I whisper to Carrie’s headstone. “I guess… I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I didn’t know how to be your friend after everything we’d been through. I’m sorry that I hurt you because that’s never what I wanted.”
I let out a sigh and look up at the blue sky. “I’m mad at you, Carrie. I’m so mad at you for getting in the car. I know that doesn’t make any sense. I hoped someday we could be friends. Maybe that was wishful thinking. I don’t know.”
“It doesn’t make any sense to me. Why you? Why now? You were going to do such incredible things. That much I know for a fact.”
“Your parents are going to be okay. Don’t worry about them. I’ll look after them. I wasn’t always a good friend, I probably wasn’t always a good boyfriend either, but you’re the first girl I ever loved and I’ll never forget you.”
I back away from the grave and then turn to get in the car.
“Are you okay?” my mom asks when I’m seated in the passenger side.
“Yeah. I’m okay.”
She hugs me. She’s been doing that a lot lately. I think Carrie dying hit us all in different ways and I don’t know when we’ll feel normal again. Not today, that’s for sure.
My mom starts for the airport and I swivel in my seat to face Ryder. Ever since I announced I was leaving last night, he hasn’t spoken to me.
“I’m going to miss you, Ry, but I’ll see you in two weeks for my graduation, and then I’ll be back for good.”
The only acknowledgment I get that he heard me, is him turning his head farther away from me to look out the window.
“I was wondering if you wanted this?” I pull the Bruins hat out of my bag. “I bought it for someone a long time ago, but she didn’t really like it.” I lean closer to him. “She wasn’t really a fan of the Bruins, can you imagine?”
“You never could resist teasing her about the Bruins winning the Cup that year.” Mom smiles at the memory. Yeah, I guess I had bought it as a joke, but she held on to it and giving it to Ryder just feels right. He didn’t know Carrie that well, but I think she would have wanted him to have it.
He squirms and eyes the hat in my hands. “It’s like yours, but cleaner.”
“Yep.” I hold it out to him, but he still doesn’t take it.
“I’ll tell you what. I’ll set it here and if you don’t want it, just put it back in my room later, okay?”
Finally he looks at me. “Are you going away like Carrie did or are you really coming back?”
I can’t speak for a few seconds as I swallow the lump in my throat. “I’m really coming back.”
He doesn’t look convinced so I unbuckle and crawl through the opening between the seats to the back.
“What in the world?” My mother laughs as I try to squeeze through. It is not easy.
“You’re too big.” Ryder giggles as I struggle to sit beside him.
And I laugh too. It feels good. I put the hat on his head and then hit the brim of mine against his. “I’ll see you soon.”
* * *
I get backto Valley late Sunday evening. Adam picked me up and I had him bring me straight to the arena. I knew she’d be here. I could feel her and every step closer to the ice feels like I’m rushing to the finish line. She’s it for me. She’s my endgame.
When I see her, it takes my breath away. Hiding in the shadows, I put on my skates and watch her glide around the ice. My heart hammers in my chest, and my stomach is in knots. It’s crossed my mind that she might not be nearly as excited to see me as I am her.
