Page 109 of Wild Ever After
39
MY FRIENDS ARE ASSHOLES
DECLAN
The morningafter I walked out on Jade, Ash finds me in the kitchen under his sink.
“Do I even want to know what you’re doing?” he asks, shuffling past me.
I finish tightening the nut under the sink and slide out of the small space. “I fixed the water pressure. It was like a fire hose.”
“I could have done that,” he says.
“It’s been like that for as long as you’ve lived here.”
He pulls a Gatorade from the fridge and leans against the counter. “Could have, but never would have.”
“Now you don’t have to.” I test the faucet and then wash my hands and dry them on a towel. “Give me five to change and then I’ll be ready for a workout.”
“Dude, chill. It’s Saturday.”
“We work out on Saturdays sometimes.”
“That’s really what you want to do today?” His expression is filled with a kind sort of pity. The guys spent most of last night sitting with me, trying to get me to talk to them or brainstorm ideas to fix things with Jade. They mean well, but I don’t want to talk to them about how I’m feeling, and this isn’t about a grand gesture. I want her to want me in the ordinary moments. So, I’m staying busy.
“Yeah, it’s really what I want to do.” Lie. I want to go home, but since I can’t do that, I have to keep moving.
Because Rick called me this morning when he went to deliver the tub, I know Jade is still there. Or was. Is she waiting for me to come home or is she packing up and just hasn’t left yet? Not knowing is torture.
The front door opens, and a second later, Jack appears. When he sees me, one side of his mouth lifts in a grin and he nods to Ash. “I told you he’d still be here this morning.”
He holds out a hand. Ash frowns then turns and pulls a bottle of Macallan from the cabinet and gives it to Jack.
“Thanks.” Our captain smiles big.
“Wait,” I say, when I figure out what’s happening. “You bet on how long I would be here?”
“More like how long until you went back to Jade,” Ash clarifies. “I had you pegged for less than eight hours.”
“My friends are assholes,” I mutter. The truth is, I haven’t gone back yet because I’m a coward. I don’t want to know if she signed the divorce papers and is making plans for a future that doesn’t involve me. Not yet. I need a little more time to live in the uncertainty.
“Ah, cheer up,” Jack says. “I gave you until at least tonight. I figured anyone could hold out one night, but two?” He shakes his head dismissively. “Want a drink?”
“It’s not even noon.”
“Like you have anything better to do,” he quips back.
With a grin on his face, Ash watches us banter. “We were just talking about getting in a workout. You in?”
Jack looks like he wants to do anything but that, yet he nods his head. “Sure. Why not?”
Tyler and Leo have joined us by the time we’re ready. Ash has a pretty sweet home gym in his garage. He blasts the music, and we fall into a rotation of cleans, deadlifts, and pull ups, followed by sprints between Ash and Jack’s houses. The burn of my muscles helps, but it doesn’t completely alleviate the desire to run across the street to see if Jade is still there.
I can’t quite see the spot she usually parks in from Ash’s driveway. I pause for a moment and stare hard at the house. Is she in there hoping I’ll walk through the door or is she long gone?
Walking out on her nearly killed me. I know she’s used to people running and I hate that I fed into her deepest fears, but I don’t know what else to say to her. I want to give her everything she needs, but I guess I was hoping that all she really needed was me. In the same way, Jade is exactly everything I want and need. The details don’t matter as long as I have her.
It’s the worst feeling to realize she might never feel the same about me. I can’t live with that. She deserves to feel this way about someone, even if it isn’t me.
