Page 84 of Wild Ever After
It’s all my worst fears spoken aloud, and icy dread washes over me. “Maybe you’re right, but how could I possibly know what a healthy relationship looks like? I’ve avoided coming home for years because you’re always so focused on whatever guy you’re dating, that you lose sight of everything else. You don’t even know who you are without a boyfriend. At least I can stand on my own.”
Hurt flashes in her eyes, and I regret saying the words, even if they’re true.
“I’m sorry,” I say.
“No, I guess I deserve that. I know I wasn’t perfect, but I did my best. I’m gonna get some air.” She stares at me a beat, so much disappointment in her gaze that it makes my stomach uneasy.
“Fuck,” I mutter when she’s gone. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”
29
NEW MUGS
DECLAN
It’s Saturday night,and I’m sitting at Ash’s house, watching TV with him and Jack. Everly and her friend Grace are here too, getting ready to go out for the night.
“Where are you going?” Jack asks them as they start for the front door.
“To a friend’s house,” Everly retorts with all kinds of attitude. “I already told Ty and he’s fine with it.”
Jack grunts.
“Have fun,” Ash calls after them. “Call if you need a ride or whatever.”
“Will do!” Everly waves and heads out. Grace hesitates, then also gives a shy wave.
“Later,” Ash says, smiling a little too hard at Everly’s friend.
When she finally goes out after Everly, Jack elbows him. “Terrible idea.”
“What?” Ash asks, like it isn’t obvious he’s into Grace. He looks to me for backup.
“I agree. Terrible idea.”
“Whatever. She’s cute and hella smart.”
I shake my head. “Still, no.”
He huffs. “We should go out.”
I feel old as fuck. The last thing I want to do right now is go out. I want to go home, but I’ve been avoiding doing just that all day.
I used to love the peace and quiet of my own place, but now it isn’t the same without Jade. Her stuff is everywhere. She’s everywhere. And I’ve started to like it better that way.
“I’m out,” I say.
Ash looks to Jack.
“Fine. I’m in,” he says.
I stand to leave them to it.
“Are you sure?” Ash asks. “Nothing waiting at home for you.”
He is right about that, but I still pass. “Have fun. See you in the morning.”
I walk back to my place, second-guessing my decision a dozen times until I see Jade’s red Volkswagen in the driveway.
