Page 81 of In Your Wildest Dreams
“About six months in, maybe a little sooner than that, he changed. Little things at first. He’d get really upset with me if I made plans that didn’t include him. Why didn’t I want to spend time with him? Was I cheating on him? I’d basically abandoned my friends for him at that point anyway, so I just quit accepting their invites for parties or going out to bars altogether. Some part of me felt like what he was asking was reasonable, I guess. I thought this is what a real relationship is like. But then he just found more things to be annoyed about. I was dressing too sexy or not sexy enough. Nothing I did was right. I’d given up so much already, so I found myself giving in more and more until I finally realized whatever we had wasn’t love. He was only happy if he could control every action I made.”
I take another breath. “We got in this cycle where we’d fight, and I’d be ready to leave and then he’d apologize and go back to the charming and sweet guy I fell for. It was confusing. He played the part of a doting and loyal boyfriend so well. But it never lasted. God, he could be so mean and hurtful and then flip it so fast my head spun. Things got bad.Reallybad.”
I fiddle with the ring on my pointer finger. “It got to a point where I knew I had to leave. So, I ended things. Since then, he’s been calling and texting, trying to get me back, promising me things will be different. For the life of me I can’t figure out how he could possibly think what we had was good.”
I’m ashamed it took so long to realize just how much he manipulated me. The more time that passes, the clearer I can see it.
“He sounds like a real asshole. You deserve so much better than that.” She sets her wine on the coffee table and then leans in and hugs me tight against her. “I’m so sorry you went through that.”
“Thank you. I can’t tell you how good it feels to say some of that stuff out loud.”
“You can always tell me anything.”
“You know what’s the most humiliating part?”
“What?”
“He treated me so bad, but I still cried when I ended things.”
“You spent a year of your life with someone. You cared about him. You’re human, babe.”
“Yeah. Anyway. It’s been over for a few months now and I’m still picking up the pieces. I lost all my friends and my relationship with my parents is awkward. I never told them, or anyone else, about the yelling or fighting. I made it seem like we were the perfect couple, and after I couldn’t figure out how to explain all of that to anyone. I never felt more alone in my life before I met you and Grace. You two are the real deal. Thank you for driving up here to check on me. I’m really glad to have you in my life.”
“And I’m not going anywhere.” She grabs her glass and clinks it against mine.
22
MY HEART JUST STOPPED
BRIDGET
Everly stays the night,and the next morning she folds the clothes in my donation pile from my closet cleanout. “I didn’t get a chance last night to ask you about New Year’s Eve.”
“What about it?” I’m busy hanging up all the keep items, coordinating by season and color.
“Ash told me that he asked you to come to Jack’s party. But you haven’t mentioned it. So, you’re either not going or holding out on me.”
“I’m not holding out on you.”
“I figured.” She smiles. “Why aren’t you going?”
“I won’t be back. I had planned to stay here until the second, remember?”
“Because you’re having such a great time avoiding your parents?”
I glare at her from across the room.
“Look, I totally get it. I have my own tricky relationship with my parents, but if things are weird, why aren’t you jumping at the chance to head back a couple of days early, hang with me, and kiss a cute boy at midnight?”
I won’t lie, the thought of kissing Ash again does funny things to my stomach.
“I’m not sure it’s a good idea.” No, scratch that, I know it isn’t a good idea.
“Why not?”
“He works with my psycho ex.”
“Who you broke up with.”
