Page 117 of Burnout
“He hasn’t come out all day,” I say, dropping onto a chair in the living room. I know because I’ve been trying to coax him out since breakfast.
“On the bright side, not a lot of trouble he can get into in there,” Brogan says.
My phone buzzes in my pocket and I pull it out and press ignore on the incoming call. Archer is watching me as I turn the screen upside down and set it on my leg.
“When are you leaving for New Mexico?” he asks.
“I’m not sure.”
He and Brogan share a look, but it’s interrupted by Hendrick coming in through the garage.
He sees the three of us and then immediately glances toward Flynn’s room. “How is he?”
“Same,” we say in unison.
Hendrick turns his attention to me. “I thought the truck would be loaded. What time are you leaving?”
I shrug. “I told them I needed more time.”
I’d called the day after Flynn’s injury to let my new team know I couldn’t be there until Friday. That was five days ago.
I really did intend to leave, but while Flynn’s elbow will eventually recover, his spirits are low. He still doesn’t have any answers on the future, and while the rest of his team is continuing their season—one even signed a letter of intent to play basketball at one of Flynn’s top schools—my brother is brooding in his room.
Burt’s called twice today to check in, but I don’t know what to tell him yet so I’m ignoring him until I do. Nothing else matters.
“We’ve got it handled here,” Hendrick says, hands on his hips. “I’ve got the bar covered. I can stay home with Flynn and take him to his appointments.”
“I’m not leaving. It’ll be fine. I can continue practicing here and meet the team in a month or two.”
Though I haven’t been to the track in almost a week, it’s true that I could get back in my routine here.
“Knox.” It’s Archer’s voice that speaks up. “You have to go. Hen’s right. We’ve got things covered here.”
I shake my head, but I’m not sure what to say to make them understand. “I appreciate it, but it makes sense that it’s me. It’s always made sense for it to be me.”
Archer’s brow furrows. “Why does it make sense for it to be you?”
“Hendrick has the bar and Jane, you two have football and classes. Flynn and racing are all I have.” The truth of those words scrapes up my throat. A quick vision of Avery flashes in my mind, but I’m not sure I have her anymore. We’ve barely spoken since Flynn’s accident. That’s my fault and I know it, butthe weight of my responsibility has reminded me why I’ve never gotten this involved before.
“And you’ll still have both of those, but you are risking a lot by staying here,” Arch says, and the others chime in to agree.
“I don’t care.”
Usually Arch backs down pretty easily, but not this time. “I know you’d do anything for Flynn. You’ve proven that more times than I can count. We all should have helped out more before and we didn’t, but we can now. You just have to let us.”
“I don’t care about any of that,” I say truthfully. “I don’t resent it or you guys. But I can’t just flake on him now. Not when he really needs me.”
“You’re not flaking on him.” Hendrick’s face drops and a large pit forms in my stomach. “You think leaving him makes you like Dad.”
My ears ring with those fears being spoken aloud. It sounds dumb. Maybe it is. But Flynn should have someone who always shows up for him, even if it isn’t his dad.
“You dropped out of school, got a job, paid the bills, learned how to cook and how to do the fucking laundry. You took Flynn to and from school, bought him clothes, and so many other things I probably don’t even know about.Youmade sure he had everything he needs…” My oldest brother’s voice trails off.
“So?”
“You aren’t him. You could never be him.”
Not today, but how many times does it take to flake on someone before they stop looking for you?
