Page 125 of Burnout
Archer nudges him, still signing as he speaks. “He’s trying to do the right thing and save them both the headache of long-distance bullshit.”
Brogan’syou’re a moronstare doesn’t let up.
“What exactly did she say?” Jane asks. “Maybe it’s not as bad as you made it sound.”
“That she was in love with me and wanted to be mine all the time, not just when our schedules conveniently aligned to hook up.”I guzzle more water, but it doesn’t do anything to cool the inferno raging inside of me.
“She said she was in love with you?”Hendrick asks.
“Yeah.”
“That’s pretty big.”
“Huge,”Brogan says.“You know this guy didn’t make it easy for her to get close enough to fall for him.”
Ouch, but probably true.
“But it doesn’t matter if he doesn’t feel the same way,” Jane says.
“He does.”Brogan waves a hand at me, still looking irritated.“Look at him. He’s got that same miserable look on his face as Henny had when he was pretending not to be into Jane.”
Jane snuggles closer to my oldest brother and lays her head on his shoulder.
“I do feel pretty fucking miserable,”I admit. “More so since we started this conversation.”
I glance around at all of them, and my idiocy is all I see staring back. Brogan arches a brow like he’s daring me to disagree with him.
“Of course I fucking love her,” I say a little louder than intended. Saying the words out loud has a new kind of panic washing over me. I think I have for a while, but I didn’t realize that’s what this gnawing, awful feeling I’ve had since I left was until she said the words to me.
Brogan waves his hand again with a “duh” expression.
Does it really matter though? I’m still me.
“So what if I love her? That doesn’t change the situation. I saw what it was like for Mom when Dad popped in and out. I never want to make someone feel like that.”I won’t make his mistakes. I swore it years ago and I still stand by that.
“Dad was a prick to her even when he was around,”Hendrick says.“It had nothing to do with his location.”
“Long-distance might suck, but are you really going to just walk away when the person you love is telling you they feel the same?”Archer asks, cocking a disbelieving brow.
I don’t have to answer for them to know that isn’t what I want. But still…“What if I end up hurting her or what if I screw it up?”
“You will absolutely screw it up,” Jane says, laughing softly. “Everyone does, and you have even less experience than most. It’s what you do after you screw up that makes you who you are.”
“Fuck,” I mutter again.“I need to go see her.”
Archer places a hand on my shoulder to keep me from standing. “You can’t go now. She has a meet tomorrow and she’s probably already sleeping.”
“I’m leaving tomorrow,”I say.
“Not until after her meet, you’re not.”Brogan grins and clinks his glass against mine.“Now let’s figure out what the hell you’re going to say to make up for being such a clueless idiot.”
FORTY-THREE
“This was a bad idea,”I say as Brogan and I walk into the gym. My stomach is in knots and my palms are sweaty.
He places both hands on my shoulders from behind like he’s stopping me from turning around and leaving. The thought has crossed my mind. What the hell am I doing here? She’s getting ready to compete. The last thing she needs is a distraction. Which is exactly what I feel like. The chump that showed up uninvited. She might not even want to see me.
“Just stick to the plan, Casanova,” he says. “It’s a great plan.”
