Page 111 of Burnout
My throat burns with the need to saywell actually, I can’t get enough of you either. In fact, I’m in love with you and wondering if you could possibly reconsider the whole I don’t do serious thing.
I, of course, don’t say any of that. Not now and maybe not ever.
I wake up with Knox’s arms still wrapped tightly around me. We fell asleep naked and him still hard, and it looks like that’s how we’re waking up too. For someone who claims he doesn’t cuddle, Knox Holland is a superb cuddler.
I snuggle back into him without opening my eyes. We’ve only slept over together a couple of other times and it usually ended with him needing to get home quickly the next morning.
“Morning, princess.”
I mumble my reply with a yawn.
His laughter tickles my ear. “You’d think you were the one who drank too much last night.”
“I was the one making sure you ended up back in your room in one piece.”
“That is not how I remember you spending the evening.” His lips press to my neck just below my ear, and he whispers his next words. “Unless I dreamt you on your knees with that fucking mouth around my cock.”
My insides turn to liquid. “You didn’t dream that.”
“Not last night, but I have many, many times.”
I turn around in his arms. His crooked smile surrounded by dark scruff and mussed morning hair make him more handsome somehow.
“I’m so happy for you.”
“Thanks.” His brows pinch together. “Yeah, I keep forgetting. What a wild day.”
“When do you think you’ll leave for New Mexico?”
His hold on me loosens and he lays his head back on the pillow. “I need to check with my brothers, but I’ll probably drive out Thursday morning. Flynn has a game on Wednesday so if I can stay for that, I will.”
Three more days. My chest squeezes.
“Wow. That is soon. I bet you have a lot to do before then.”
He sits up. “Not really. Plenty of time to take you to breakfast.”
While Knox gets up and starts getting dressed, I find myself unable to move. Like if I just stay here in this bed theneverything will be absolutely fine. Who needs food or the rest of the world?
“How often will you be able to come back?” I ask, still rooted in the same spot with his scent lingering on the sheets around me. He never did answer me when I tried to get an idea of what his schedule would look like.
“Weekends when I can before the season starts. During the season it just depends. With Flynn graduating in May and going to college, there’ll be less of a rush to get back.”
I swallow down all my pride and summon every last ounce of courage as I gather the sheet up around me and sit with my back against the headboard. “What about us?”
I don’t know why I chose to call us an us for the first time now. We aren’t an us. Not really. Maybe because that’s how I’ve been thinking of me and Knox for weeks now. Us. Together. Really together.
He pulls his black shirt down slowly, meeting my gaze. The look he gives me makes my stomach tighten in dread.
I can’t take it back, though, so I decide to lay my heart out on the line. “I know we’re supposed to be just hanging out, but I like you a lot. We’re having so much fun and I don’t want that to end.”
“I like you too.”
“But?” I ask because I can see it coming on his face.
“We can still hang out when I’m in town, but I don’t want to promise things when we might not see each other for weeks or months at a time.” A flash of vulnerability pulls the corners of his mouth down. “You’re going to be busy with competition season too.”
I will be, but I still want this and believe it’s possible. Only it’s not, because he doesn’t want that.
