Page 102 of Playbook
“Yes, get in!” Sierra yells at me.
Reluctantly, I hand over my phone to him and go stand next to my sister. We do a regular photo, then silly faces.
Someone ordered a round of shots and those come, breaking up our photo session. Sierra hands me a small glass of pink liquid with a grin.
“What is it?” I ask.
“Pink Starburst.”
It smells good. Too good. The kind of shot that you take two or three of before you remember it is alcohol.
“Somebody has to keep us all in line tonight.” I shake my head and try to handit back.
“No! I want you to have fun.”
“I don’t need to drink to have fun. My baby sister is getting married and wearing penises around her neck.” I laugh. “Tonight is about you. I’ve got everything covered. Let me be the responsible one for once in our lives.”
“You have been looking out for me my whole life. Maybe I got the responsible genes, but you have always had my back.”
“And I always will,” I tell her.
“I know.” She laughs, then glances over at her fiancé. “I really love him, Lo.”
“I know you do.” I take her hand and squeeze. I still can’t believe my little sister is getting married. Her whole life is changing and I’m fake-dating a guy to avoid my ex. Or I was…now I’m sleeping with him and trying to avoid my feelings.
“And you and Brogan…you really love him too, don’t you?”
“Love?” I try to play it off with a laugh, but it’s strained even to my own ears.
“The way you two look at each other, I can tell you love him.”
“Sierra,” I start. How do you tell the most important person in the world that you’ve been lying to them? “We aren’t really together. Not like you think.”
She rolls her eyes. “Situationship, dating, whatever you want to call it…you’re not fooling anyone.”
“No. I mean…” I trail off. Telling her the truth tonight feels selfish.
My chest tightens and not only because I feel bad from keeping that from her, but because admitting we aren’t a couple out loud feels like finally admitting to myself that I’ve gotten in over my head.
“And anyway," Sierra adds, “it doesn’t matter if it wasn’t serious when it started. You love him now?”
“Yes.” God, I really do. I tried not to fall for him, but he’s so easy to love. And the way he makes me feel is beyond anything I’ve ever felt.
Her smile is so wide, and she squeals happily.
“I already regret telling you.”
She laughs and tears shine in her eyes. “I’m so happy for you.”
I don’t have the heart to tell her that I’m walking the plank alone.
“No tears!” I point a finger at her, then to her friends. “Go. Have fun, drink too much, and make out with your future husband in public.”
She blushes but then heads off toward the group. I watch her, feeling lighter having admitted my feelings. Now I just have to figure out how to tell him.
“Hey.” Chris appears at my side. He has one hand in his pants pocket and the other wrapped around a glass of whiskey.
“Hi,” I say with as little emotion as I can manage.
